I recently sold some of my crochet creations. Mostly it was two commissions. So I had a minute amount of money on hand. I got a classic controller and a Wii points card. So, for the past few days, I've been enjoying the virtual console version of Mario64. It's pretty fun, but I kind of wish I'd had a tiny bit more money so I could have gotten Mario Galaxy.
Playing Mario64 reminds me a good deal of Galaxy, and so does the other game I've been playing recently, which is Mario Sunshine. They're both fun games, and I'm happy to be able to play them, but they remind me of how much better the other game is. It's like when I rented Mario Party 8 for the Wii. Playing it, I felt that it was what all the other Mario Party games were supposed to be. The controls were so superior, so intuitive, and so fitting for the game.
It's the same way with these two. Sunshine and Mario64 are good games, but I think the concepts of them are realized so much better in Galaxy. I rented Galaxy shortly after it came out, and I got a fair way into the game. I don't think it was easier than these other two, but I was able to get through it a lot better. I made smoother progress and didn't hit any levels I was unable to pass, even for a short time. Because of that, I had more fun with it. So I'm looking forward to owning it. And I think I will still play these two. They are, as I have mentioned, both good games.
The other game I got for the virtual console is Sonic the Hedgehog 3. It's as much fun as any of the other Sonic games I've had the chance to try. I haven't beaten the boss by the waterfall yet, though. But I've only played it for about 20 minutes total. I hope I can beat it. It would kind of stink to have to get a youngster to beat it for me so I can go on. ;)

I have completed the Cave of Ordeals in Twilight Princess.
That was a pain in the neck.
I did the run through the cave because it was where the last Poe was hiding. In the chambers near the end, the game designers just tried to annoy the player. All the most vicious and difficult enemies are there, and there are three separate rooms with those master swordsmen who require the hidden skills to beat (or the mace and more life than you're likely to have).
At the end of this, you get one (at a time) jar of great fairy tears, and she doesn't even give you a new bottle.
This is one of many things in this game that is a little out of proportion to the amount of garbage you have to go through to get it. The minigames with the baloons you have to break around Lake Hylia and Zora's river are pretty well balanced, and the star game is not so bad once you get the pattern down (or turn on the cursor for that minigame), but the Poe souls and the Cave of Ordeals are a little out of scale with what you get, particularly when they only reward you with one-at-a-time goodies.
And I'm a little disappointed that you have to wait so long (from spending money, bringing a few bugs, spending, bringing a few bugs) or waste so much to get the huge wallet from Agitha. And I'd like the rupee armor a lot better if it didn't drain rupees when you're not getting hit.
After the Jovani quest (and you don't in the end get to help the guy, after all) his cat will only give you one reward of 200 rupees at a time, and only when you're low on rupees, so that makes it a poor companion to the rupee armor, which would be cool if you got your wallet filled.
Yeah, I know that if the player got more bottles, had better rupee armor, and had a larger wallet or truly unlimited rupees after completing the Jovani quest, the game would be a lot easier near the end, but rupees as rewards are a little bit trivialized by how easy it is to get them or even just farm them through simple repetitive actions. The hardcore gamers are going to try to beat the game without any rewards or extra hearts, but it would be nice if the harder side quests got you something more worth all the trouble.
So, yeah.
I feel a little bit good about my 'accomplishment' even though it's only a game, but I'm also a little disappointed that it doesn't even bring much of a value in-game.
I've now done just about everything in this game. I got all the golden bugs last time through. I got the Cave of Ordeals and the Poe souls this time through. I got almost all the heart pieces last time before I got bored with that and just beat the end boss. I probably ought to put it aside and consider giving it to someone else. It's still a fun game, but I may be pretty much done with it.

Speaking of games, I've been thinking a lot lately about World of Warcraft. I know that a tiny bit of this is that I've seen other people talking about it, but even when I haven't for a while, I've been thinking about it, thinking about tips and tricks I picked up back when I had an active account.
I'm not really interested in going back to it, because I don't have time to play a game that immersive (I end up playing too long with simutrans, and that doesn't really get you anything hugely significant. It's a cool game, but in the end, you just play until you have a transport network you love and/or get tired of playing, then you start a new one)... and I think that might be why I ought to mention it here.
World of Warcraft is a game with many bad facets, mostly having to do with the way people play it, but also with the philosophy and backstory of the game. But it's also a game that designers should study. It's an immersive world with plenty of places to explore; you could enjoy the game for hours just wandering the countryside exploring the different locations. It has excellent gameplay; the fighting system is the best I've ever seen (You have 10 or so action keys for different attacks or other actions, so you can actually engage in combat. You don't just select an enemy and let the auto-swing pound on it (unless you're a pally, hehe), like you do in some other games I could mention, which have only one or two fighting keys, or worse, menu-based attacks). Blizzard works very hard at making the game balanced, and I think they did a very good job of it. It's a good model for gameplay, and I wish there were more games like it in underlying structure and gameplay. As I said, I want a better storyline than WoW has. But I'd really like to play a game that plays like WoW.

So, I guess today I'm kind of comparing Zelda with WoW. I wonder if anyone has ever done that before. hehe.

I also would love to have a CD of the music from the game, because they did an excellent job with it.

I won't ask for a response to this entry, which in my experience means it's likely I'll get a firestorm of comments on it, hehe. Anyway,

I wasn't around yesterday because I spent the day setting up my mom's computer and doing homework.
Then I went out to watch a movie with the singles group.
I just got tired of myself. I've been making her wait a long time to check her e-mail and stuff easily because her laptop, which I had set up to do this, is having hardware woes.
So I set her up with a dual boot so she can play games in Windoze and do real work in Linux. :)
Well, so far, I've installed Windows(tm), installed Linux, and done (I think) most of the configuration for the Linux side. Once that is done, I'll do the lilo config so she can boot into Windows or Linux any time she wants.
I started by installing both KDE and IceWM on it, but since it's a rather old Dell(tm) (Entry regarding its arrival 12-20-2003m) with minimal RAM, KDE runs painfully slowly on it. So, I think she'll be using IceWM, which is the same window manager I use. This will make it easy for me to make modifications to her configuration, because I'm familiar with it.
I have set up her Web browsers, e-mail client, sound, IM, and games. I need to configure GAIM to use the sound system and sort out the desktop icons.

I am happy with the progress I've made in the past couple of years. I can now do a full Linux install, including configuration and loading software, in less than 3 hours. I can usually start using it in less than 2 hours from the time I insert the install disc.

This is a little faster than I can install a base Windows(tm) system and securing the most obvious security holes thereon, but not including the time to install all the software I'll need to do real work with it. To sit down and start using it is at least 3 hours from the time I insert the install disc, from what I remember of my experiences with it.

When I think about the number of things I'm likely to have to go back and fix again, and how often that is likely to happen in the course of six months, that difference becomes larger for me. I know when I set something in Linux, it's going to stay set unless I change it. With Windows(tm), my experience is that I often have to go back and set something I've set before because it has mysteriously become unset.

The only thing you need Windows(tm) for nowadays is some games. And that realm is shrinking. More and more games are being ported to MacOS(tm)/Linux/Un*x (think Unreal Tournament), or are becoming usable under Wine (think World of Warcraft). And there is a wealth of games available for Linux that are so cool, they've even been made usable *gasp* in Windows(tm) (think anything that mentions Cygwin in its install documents).
For anything other than games... anyone can improve their experience with computers by switching to either a Mac or a Linux install. If it isn't available for Linux or MacOS(tm), it probably isn't available for Windows(tm)... except for viruses; oops, my mistake...
And if you still want to keep Windows(tm) for some reason, there's always dual-booting, like what I've set up for my mom. If you have any questions, ask me. I'll be glad to help.

By the way, if you're wondering how many games you can play on Linux, here are some lists:
Natively (Some free, some commercial)
Natively (Debian repository (free))
Under Cedega
Under WINE

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/cats.htm - Herding cats. A very classy game.

Just in time for the beginning of classes tomorrow, I have completed the game. I beat Ganon, saved Hyrule from his clutches, and freed Midna from her curse. i have completed Twilight Princess
The total game time on my save file is 59 hours, 14 minutes. Unlike some other Legend of Zelda games, this one does not offer you a chance to save after you beat it, nor a master quest version. So, my time does not include the time it took for me to run from the entrance to the castle (I saved right before the boss door) to the boss door, the time it took for me to defeat Ganon in all his forms, or the time it took for the credits to roll and all the loose ends to wrap up (though not completely, and I'll talk about that under the cut). All of that together took 1 hour, 11 minutes, according to the menu records.
( Cut to conceal spoilers and hide geekery from those who don't care )
Would I recommend the game? Yes, very much so. There are a few parts where it gets a little maddening, like when you have to veer away and then back to get a strike while riding Epona, and when Midna tells you to do one attack but what you need is another one, but those moments are few and far between. By the way, it's the spin attack, not the charge-up-the-blade one that dissipates the dark fogs.
Have fun!

  I didn't want my new game console to be just an expensive plaything for myself. I wanted my mom to be able to enjoy it, too. So, we've started the search for games she'll enjoy playing on it. Needless to say, her interests in games are quite different from mine.
( Read more... )
  Do any of you have suggestions of Wii or GameCube titles my mom and I might like?

  There has been a spring in my step this past week. That isn't actually true, but there have been a lot of moments during the past week when I have caught myself walking with a light and joyful step.
  I wouldn't say this is uncharacteristic. I'm not normally a guy who is down in the dumps. I have a bouyant personality. I'm the guy who's rarely down but almost never perky. I have never been the type of guy who is so cheerful it annoys other people. I sit like a bobber on a fishing line, never pulled under the surface for long, but rarely seen in the air above the surface. I don't notice the general cycle of ups and downs in my life that are common in the lives of most people.
  I'm different.
  I'm rarely far from the baseline. But I didn't start out to write about myself and my tendency to be of flatter moods than is normal. I started out to write that I've been catching myself, and noting with pleasure, my generally upbeat mood in recent days. I lost some weight in Poland and got a good walk almost every day I was gone. But I don't think those things had as much effect on me as simply being in the mission field. I love helping others. But maybe that's not it, either. I don't really understand it, because at the same time as I was on the mission trip, I was feeling the weight of some concerns. I think Christ's churches are not doing enough in missions. I think too many people are ignoring the commission of Jesus to go into the world. I think I ought to be doing more to remind people that missions is for everyone, not just those called to live in Africa or other countries for their careers. And I think a lot of missions is poorly done.
  So, really, my joy surpasses understanding. Maybe God has simply blessed me this past week with a light heart.
  Proverbs says that hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. I had a desire fulfilled today. I know this is a silly desire, and it wasn't a profound one for me, and it is nothing compared to my heart desire to know my future wife's name, but it did make me very happy to finally see it arrive. Let me make absolutely clear that this is not something I consider important but merely long-awaited.
  You see, in the spring semester, I worked on the campus newspaper as a copy editor. Early in the semester, I also took on the position of Web editor. These positions, on top of a full load of courses, made the semester more complicated and difficult than what I should have taken on at one time. I'm at fault for overscheduling myself, but I enjoyed the experience. But at the end of the semester, I felt like death warmed over, because I really did overextend myself. Anyway, because of a paperwork mix-up, I only got paid for the Web position. At the end of the semester, I finally discovered that the paperwork mix-up had not been resolved. Eventually, I got it straightened out and left a note with the person who could do the final steps to make sure I got paid.
  On Saturday, my check arrived.
  I had decided at the end of the semester what I would do with the check. After God's part and a part for my IRA, I dfigured I would have just enough left over for a Wii game console, an extra controller set, two GameCube controllers (because I have a GameCube game), and the Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for the Wii.
  So on Saturday, I called around to the local Wal-Marts and EB Games stores. Nobody had the console. EB Games said to try back on Monday.
  On Monday, I called EB Games, but they hadn't gotten any in. So, I decided to visit Wal-Mart every day. I had some pictures that I needed to get reprinted, since I'd given the original prints to another member of the team, or to the pastor in Poland. So, this is what I did. No consoles on Monday. No consoles on Tuesday. Went in this morning, and they didn't have any. I asked one of the associates if they were being bought up by people selling them on the Web or if there were just that many people who wanted one. He said there were that many people.
  So, I ran some other errands while waiting for the developer to finish the pictures. By now, I had reached the point where I was willing to wait a little bit, but I was beginning to wonder if it would be Christmas before I got to the store while they had one in. On my return, I checked electronics first, and they had the consoles! The associate said they'd arrived about five minutes earlier. So, I bought one, along with the accessories I'd planned for. I had $2.00 left from my check. Hehe.
  So, I now own one of those awesome consoles with the really stupid name. And I'm a very happy man. I know I could have spent the money on more lofty things, but I really did want this game console. It's not like I regularly buy console games as they come out. The last console I bought new before May of this year (when I got half a PS/2 for an early birthday present (I asked for a Wii, but I also had games for the PS/2, so we got that instead)) was a Super Nintendo Entertainment System. And I only have three games for that system. I'm not what you'd call a serious console gamer. I like Nintendo's new console because it's truly different. It does things none of the others do. It promotes movement rather than couch potato sitting. It plays GameCube games, of which I have one or two. And the games for Nintendo's console are for everyone, not just the hardcore gamers, so they're game I have fun playing.
  And this next semester is going to be tough, so I'm glad to have something like this for relaxation and energy catharsis. I think I have made a good choice in this console.
  But I forgot to pick up my photos from processing. Oops.
  When I got home, I set up the console and played a game of bowling with my mother. Neither of us did a stellar job. I won the game, but she got a higher skill rating than I did. I messed around a bit with the fitness section and the training section. Then I loaded the game that was a large part of my desire to get this console. I played that for a while, and I got almost all the way through parts I had seen other people play. I'm a bit of a fan of the Zelda series, and Twilight Princess has lived up to my expectations, for the most part. I'm pleased with this game, and with the whole purchase.
  I have to admit, as low-key as I normally am, that I've been excited about this since Saturday, when my check arrived. It's not often that I get excited.
  I hope that your day has been wonderful. I hope that you have been blessed. Now I'm going to think about writing some things about missions. Catch you later. :)

I'm not who I pretend to be.
To begin with, I should admit that. I've been pretending to be someone for many years, and I'm simply not that man.
I'm not a loner. I claimed to be all through high school, but I wasn't. I was an outcast but never a loner. I wasn't alone by choice. I tolerated it easily, but I never chose it. I only claimed to be a loner because loners are more romantic than outcasts, or so I thought. I'm a social man. I love being around people who respect me. Yes, I strongly dislike large crowds, but I don't like being alone. I've simply tolerated it for so long that I only notice it half the time, but I hunger and thirst after companionship. I'm a social man, not a loner.
I'm not shy. I don't think I've really claimed being shy lately, but I'm not. I only come across as shy because I'm picky about what I spend time discussing, so I don't talk much in social settings. Small talk doesn't come easily to me, because I see little value in it, but the other side of that is that not all small talk is what we think of this weather we've been having lately, and the stuff that's not in that vein has connectional value. I'm still working on getting a handle on finding out people's interests so we can actually talk about things of substance. But when I do get that conversation that sparks something else, I can talk to someone for hours. And I am picky about who I engage in coversation. Respect is very high on my priority list, and I like talking to people who respect me and others, but I generally don't like talkign to people who are disrespectful. I need to change my behavior, because people who act disrespectfully often need good companions more than those who are polite. And that may be because I'm a bit introverted, but I'm not shy. I'm not shy. I'm just a little too picky about conversation.
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. I'm not good at debate, I get tripped up easily, and there's a lot of stuff I don't know and things I'm unable to do. But I know that sometimes I come across as though I am. I'm not. Yes, I'm an intelligent man. Yes, I look around and gather information that I later spew out to the amazement of some. But I'm not as smart or as quick-witted as some of the people who work in the financial and governmental centers of our nation. I'm not the smartest person on the face of the planet. I'm just smarter than some people, which is no great distinction.

Anyway, it doesn't sound as profound when I lay it out like that.
I took a tour of the campus yesterday. It was apparently the last day the campus was open this year. I'm very excited about the new school. I like a lot of the things I saw and heard there.

Item:	UNF	UWF
On-campus food:	6 or so options	12 or so options
Campus radio:	http://ospreyradio.com/ Good luck getting it in your car - No FM transmitter	http://wuwf.org/ 88.1 FM, which I can get in my car 50 miles away
Start a new club:	10 students	3 students
Entertainment:	Game Room with video game consoles	Rock wall with weekly change of paths
Parking pass:	$146/yr.	$30/yr.
Visitor parking:	$3/day	Free
Printing and copying:	$0.11/page, no quota	$0.00/page up to 500 pages, then $0.10/page
Vending:	Meal plan free spending does not work for vending.	Meal plan free spending works for vending.
Campus tour:	Walking tour	Tour conducted by golf cart with stops

Other benefits:
Real kitchen facilities; Since I won't be living on campus, I'll have a stove, oven, and pantry, so I'll be able to buy and eat healthy food.
Job; Since I won't be living on campus, I won't be spending as much time in on-campus parking, so even if the parking is difficult, I won't be reluctant to leave campus, which will make finding a job easier.
Church; Living at home, I'll be near my home church. No on-campus second choices next year.
Roommates; Living at home, I have my own room with no roommates. Joy unbounded!
Laundry; No charge for laundry.
Being home, I'll probably get more exercise. There's plenty to do around here, and I'm enjoying being home.

I finally got to play some games on the Wii last night (Thursday), aside from the virtual console, which isn't really the same thing. One of my buddies brought his in and let me play a couple of bouts of boxing on Wii Sports, and after that, we played Excite Truck for a few courses.
This evening (Friday), I found that my arms and back were sore, and it took me a while to figure out why. Playing those games, particularly the boxing, was quite a workout. I was sweating and breathing heavily by the end of it.

Someone is selling a USB Hamster Wheel. Amazingly, this is not the most useless USB device I've ever seen. The faster you type, the faster it spins; send a message to your boss of how you feel about the usefulness of your job.

After class tonight, I went to the game room, and someone else had brought in a Wii. They were playing Wii Sports, which is pretty cool. It includes Tennis, Baseball, Bowling, and Golf, among other things. The positioning was a little odd on some of the players, but that might have had something to do with the profiles, because it only did it on some players.

I ran across a walkthrough this morning for Twilight Princess. I knew it wouldn't take long, but I was a little surprised by how far the walkthrough went. I didn't read as far into it as I watched the guys yesterday playing, but it seemed to go further than I had expected. I am excited about this game. :)

Some people here at the university got their Wii consoles last night, and they were playing them in the game room.
The Wii is very cool. Some people have commented that the graphics are not hugely superior to those on the GameCube, but I don't think that's very important, especially considering the strides Nintendo has taken with control and gameplay.
The motion sensing controller is pretty much all that it's cracked up to be, although it is a little bit quirky. I expect that might be addressed more completely in the second shipment. New systems often make revisions shortly after launch.
I saw them playing a number of games.
Some Dragonball Z game: I don't play fighters, but I enjoyed watching them play. The Wii's controls make fighting games make sense. And they require a bit more athleticism than most console games.
Red Steel: This was a pretty interesting game, though not really the type I would play, and the reviews don't make me anxious to play it.
Legend of Zelda - Twilight Princess: This game caught my interest the most, since it's one I would like to play. The controls are very good, and the Z-targetted long jumps are a great help. I would love to play this one. The graphics are on par with some older PC MMOs, which has been something some people have noted, but I think they are very pretty. After all, the gameplay outweighs the graphics any day.
( spoiler warning )I want to get a Wii so I can play this game.

The Wii has several other abilities: It plays GameCube games (with disc and controllers), reads flash cards (but not USB keys), displays photos and movies from flash cards, and plays a library of legacy games.
PS3 and Xbox360 are "Ooo, shiney," but for most gamers, the Wii is, in my opinion, a better choice. It doesn't have elite features most gamers won't get to use, and it doesn't have a lot of advertising dollar built into the cost, so it's a lot cheaper. And since it is made for standard definition TV screens, it uses what most people have and focuses on gameplay instead of chrome.

You asked: What is your favourite hymn? Why?
My favorite hymn is It Is Well. I like the words of the song. It has some awesome points about spirituality and peace. I need to live more in peace.
But I also admire the fact that these words of peace were written under circumstances that would destroy a man who did not have the peace of Christ.

I had a dream today that is sort of one I have from time to time. I was in a very large boat, and someone was chasing me, and I was rushing up and down stairs in these cramped corridors and hiding from the person chasing me. There was a lot of burgundy carpeting and walls, but some areas were blue. I never saw the one chasing me, but I was running and hiding.

I'm planning to work on my desktop machine tomorrow and get direct rendering working there so I won't be wasting the money I'm paying for Cedega. I think I'm doing well on being caught up on sleep, but I need to be careful I don't spend too much time awake.

I saw Cars last night. It was cute. The story is pretty neat, too, about lost heritage and things more important than winning. Unfortunately, I seem to have gotten bitten by something while I was watching it. I have one bite on each thigh, just above the knee. Isn't that weird?

Most games are RPG (i.e. players take on a role)
In thinking back to one's childhood, one will likely find that the games one played generally had a common thread. Most of them involved pretending to be something different. Children often play games such as Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Mother, May I?, Red Light/Green Light, and House.
What do all of these games have in common? They all involve taking on a role which the player does not, in reality, occupy. Almost every game involves the exploration of a role. If you break out the board game, Monopoly(tm), you will be placed in the role of a real estate tycoon with thousands of dollars to spend on land, houses, and hotels. Very few people occupy this role in real life, but a great number of people play this game. In Chess, players take on the role of military strategists, however far one may think this abstraction is from the battlefield. If you play any simulation game, you will be playing the role of someone with power, be it zoning authority in a city sim, military authority in a battlefield sim, or flying skills in a flight sim.
The children's games are the same. Children take on the roles of policemen, criminals, authority figures and subordinates, drivers, and adults in the home. Very few people have any qualms about these games.
But the situation is different in the clarified genre of Role-Playing Games. Many people find fault with these games, and with good reason. Some players lose the distinction between reality and game world. Being concerned about this is natural, just as one would be concerned if a child tried to arrest or shoot someone who was not playing Cops and Robbers, thinking he was, in fact, a policeman. But that is usually not a problem with the game; it is a problem with the player. Players should not put an inordinate amount of emotional energy or realism into any game they play. Also, many of these games ask players to partake in actions during play that they should not do in real life. Play that relies on such content should be avoided.
Yet with all the concern and attention these games, both the benign and the malignant variants, have received, we have perhaps missed something fantasy role-playing games can teach us.

Smooth play through role fulfillment
In the most common fantasy role-playing games, there is a truth behind the name of the genre. That truth is that the game is most fun and goes most smoothly when every player fulfills his or her role. This is also true on real-life battlefields. There is usually a role that is supposed to get and keep the attention of the enemies so that they won't attack weaker and more lightly-armored classes, which is often called a tank. There is usually a class that focuses on healing, like an army's medic. There is usually a class that focuses on subtlety or attacks from a greater distance as a way to deal damage with minimal risk, like covert ops, air support, and artillery. But any one of these classes can ruin a fight or a campaign.

Problems associated with role usurping
Healing and ranged classes in these games generally wear armor that isn't as tough as the tank class. If a healer gains the attention of an enemy, he or she can't focus on healing the others. If the ranged class attacks too many targets, some of them will focus on the ranged person rather than on the tank, and the tactical advantage of the group will be lessened or destroyed. And if a tank outruns his or her ranged support and healer, he or she can quickly be overwhelmed. In these games and on the battlefield, it is important that each member of the group fulfill the proper role. When a member tries to play a role that isn't suited to his or her class, problems arise.

Roles in Real Life
This truth is not simply for gamers and military personel. This is an important lesson for all people. In life, we each have a role to fulfill. When we fulfill it, our lives go more smoothly. When we try to fill someone else's role, for which we are unsuited, we can cause problems for ourselves and those around us.
God has given to each person a set of roles, and we can't simply trade those roles for others without consequences.
In fact, God has set some general roles for men and some general roles for women. God did not do this because women are better than men or because men are better than women. A tank is not better than a medic, and a medic is not better than a tank. Neither artillery nor tanks are better than the other. They each have strengths in different areas. While men tend to be better at some things, women tend to be better at other things.
But relative strengths and weaknesses are not the only factor in God's decision to choose some roles for men and some for women. God is God, and God is perfect. So we should pay attention to the roles God has designated for us. Just as God made the hand for some tasks and the foot for others, Gos gave men and women different roles. The hand is not superior to the foot or to the eye, it is simply designed for different tasks.
Leadership is not a universal human destiny. Most of you can go through life a follower and a servant, never leading a group of any size, but still fulfill God's purpose for your life. Our lives are rich and full through learning from some and mentoring to others, but a position of leadership is not, as our society seems to think, the destiny of all, to be grasped and sought. In fact, the fervid chase after positions of leadership is due largely to the abuse those of us who follow have made against leadership. We have exalted our leaders, treated them like more than God's representatives, and acted as though they are somehow better than the rest of us. Our exaltation of leaders has lead to a dilution of the demands of responsibility we place on them, which has lead to a dilution of the demands of responsibility we place on others, which has lead to a dilution of the demands of responsibility we place on ourselves. Thus, in exalting our leaders, we have lowered the standards of responsibility and accountability for our whole society. And we reap the damages of it every day.
There are many men and women who get upset when someone mentions that God designated that men should occupy positions of leadership. After all, men are often very ill-suited for responsibility and bad at making decisions. Superiority in decision-making or reasoning was not the reason God gave leadership to men. And it is important to remember that leadership is no prize. The responsibility of leadership is a heavy burden. To see this, one need only look at pictures of presidential candidates and compare them to pictures of the same men after they leave office. And how many stories have we heard of alchoholics who started drinking because of the pressures of their responsibility?
God made men leaders because God has decided that our relationships with each other should form a picture of our individual relationships to God. Just as God made more than one person to show us that we were not meant to live in isolation, that we need God as well as other people, so God gave leadership to one gender so that we would be certain to meet someone who was to fulfill with us the picture God paints of Christ and the Church. And God, through Paul, says that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for it. Men are to give themselves up for their wives; not, "I'll take a bullet for you, if necessary," but, "I'm going to spend myself for your benefit. My life, what God doesn't require, is yours."
We human beings are very rebellious. We don't want to be subject to anyone, but God says we should all be subject to each other. And leaders are no different. God's picture of a leader is a servant. Jesus said whoever wanted to be greatest should be the servant of all. So our society has gotten a foolishly inaccurate picture of what a leader is. God chose leadership as a role for men, and that's not a gift; It is a sacred trust and obligation--it's a very big, very hard pair of shoes to fill. When one understands God's view of a leader and a leader's responsibility and accountability in the Day of Judgement, one wonders why any woman would want such a role.
In fact, one wonders why any man would. In fact, many men don't. The Bible offers some evidence for the idea that this is why God raises up women for positions of authority: because the men have shirked their responsibility. In the book of Judges, God shamed Barak because he wouldn't go to war without Deborah. When God raises up women for leadership, it is to shame men for not fulfilling the role God chose for them. Yes, it also demonstrates that we are equal and that God uses whom God chooses, but it is also to our shame for not doing what God told us to do. The position of leader is not a position of wanton power; it is one of subjection to God and to God's people, and perhaps that is why so many men shirk leadership, but it is what God designated, and we should follow God's direction.
Can the rabbit say to the coyote, "I'll chase you"? Or can the bird say to the hippo, "Come, sit on my eggs until they hatch"? Neither can a man say to his wife, "You lead me," or a woman to her husband, "I'll protect you, follow me." God set the rabbit, the coyote, the bird, the hippo, the man and the woman in certain roles in God's order for the universe. We, as humans, should have more respect for God's plans. They are, after all, perfect.

I was right about the intensity of this semester. Things are starting to get stressful, but part of it is my terrible time-management skills.
Of course, part of it is that I chose a very difficult and beginner-unfriendly topic for my first story. Or maybe it's just that my schedule is such that finding people in their offices is a challenge... but that goes back to my poor time management. Anyway, I'm not complaining about the assignment, just stating that it is presenting a challenge I'm not sure I was ready to face... But this challenge was intensified this week. I've come down with a sinus infection that has made thinking difficult and sapped my energy a bit.
I've still been going to my classes, because I didn't know of any other way to know what was going on (and I take pride in perfect attendance). Perfectionism and poor time management don't mix well. They lead to taking on too many things.
Several days ago, I ran into someone while playing my PS2 game, We <3 Katamari, and he indicated an interest in playing it. He had a copy of Katamari Damacy, which I wanted to play (I would have bought that one if the game store had had a copy), so we agreed to loan them to each other. Anyway, I tell you that to tell you this: At the beginning of one of the levels, the king (who gives you your assignments) begins with "Dzien dobry!" and goes on to say something about having been in Poland. I don't remember what he said, but I was amused to see the mention. On campus, we have an area where the walkways are lined with light poles that have flag banners attached to them indicating the origin of international students currently enrolled. One of them is Poland, so I know there's at least one Pole here. I wish there were some way for me to find out who they are, because I think we might have interesting conversations. But I know the university will give me no help in this. I was thinking about that a few minutes ago when I ate the last section of a bar of Goplana chocolate filled with strawberry filling (which is from Poland).
Anyway, I think I'm starting to really get over the sinus infection, which means I will only have the ADHD to fight in getting things done. I plan to go to the library tomorrow. I walked all over campus today trying to find the office of the Faculty Association, which was closed when I arrived (and probably had been for some time before I went looking). So, that was a bit frustrating.
I went to the free ASL class today. Since I seemed to be the most experienced person there, I ended up translating, which was quite slow sometimes, given my mental state from the sinus trouble. But I did well enough to surprise myself. I'm hoping someone will start attending who knows more than I do, because interpreting for a class is quite a responsibility, but if not, that's okay, because it is good practice for me in both receptive and send-ive (still not thinking straight) signing. And when my head is not fuzzy, I should have fewer moments of, "wow, those handshapes are interesting; oops, what did that sign mean?"
I went shopping tonight. I got some generic decongestant. I stood in the aisle for about three minutes trying to figure out why it's still called Sudafed when they no longer put pseudoephedrine in their pills (You know, pseudo phed...). I also looked around to see if I could find something that did, since the bold claim of not containing it sparked my curiosity. Has pseudoephedrine been removed from the market, or has it just fallen out of favor with consumers? I also looked at a few things that had "no sugar added" and decided that legislation should be passed requiring some sort of easily-recognized graphic be put on anything containing aspartame. A lot of people are allergic to it or concerned about it, so it ought to be easier than reading the fine print of the ingredients for consumers to see that something has aspartame in it. In a continuation of good help being hard to find, tonight's cashier did the familiar examination of the canvas bag without understanding I didn't want to purchase it (again). The bagger, thankfully, understood the purpose and told the cashier what I wanted done. I found the irony mildly tasty.
Well, I think I've rambled enough, and I should go get some more food. Is it feed a cold, starve a fever, or feed a fever, starve a cold? ;) I guess it's a moot point, since I don't think I have either.

Jessica is doing another fun quiz game. Here's the entry: Jessica's Voice Extravaganza.
Go check it out, submit, participate, go!

I'm tired. I've had a great deal of homework: reading, writing assignments, newspaper perusal, and an hour of music videos for my Media and Society class. I haven't been getting enough sleep, and when I do get enough in a night, I don't sleep as well as I'd like because of the temperature in the room. I need to spend less time playing games, but I also have times when I absolutely must unwind a little. I downloaded a new game last weekend called TrackMania: Nations. It is a very addictive game, because the tracks are short, but you get into a mode of needing to finish the track, which is sometimes very difficult. The game also has a track editor, which allows you to make your own tracks that take several tries to complete.
I want to do some writing, but I have difficulty finding enough time when I can concentrate well enough to do it.
I've been taking pictures of the geese, as some of you requested, but I have too many pictures left on the roll to take all of them of geese, so does anyone have any suggestions of other things I should photograph to finish off the roll of film?
I was playing too much of that online game for a week or two, but I've been doing much better with that lately, in part because of TM:N, which is a bit more of a problem, so I just need to keep improving with that management of time. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten much reading done in Anna Karenina, because it requires the same relaxedness and free time writing does.
I need to find more people who can become good friends, but I don't know where, exactly, to find them. The Linux Users' Group is not going so well. The best I've done with a meeting is one other person. If no one shows up today, I'll have to think about resigning as its president. I've been posting a little on the fora, but there haven't been many responses.
My life isn't that interesting... just lots of schoolwork, some sleep, some eating, and some gaming.

Well, I'm back at school, and the semester is getting off to a pretty good start.
Because of the holiday on Monday, two of my professors decided their classes would do two chapters this first week instead of one, which meant I had a lot of reading this week. I'm not quite finished with all the reading, so I won't make this terribly long.
I decided not to get a meal plan this semester, because I was having trouble eating seven meals in the campus eateries each week, partly because of the prevalence of free food on the campus. I've already been to three events offering free food: Food for Thought on Tuesday, which is a normal event, and two events today. I was hanging out in the game room lobby, and a guy I know walked by and asked if I was going to the international dinner, and I said I hadn't heard anything about it. I went, and there was free food, along with plenty of foreign exchange students to chat with. Afterward, I was back in the lobby, and I heard about another welcoming event, breakfast at midnight. I'm still trying to figure out why breakfast is served at midnight, but I went and got some great waffles and sausage and some marginally good hash browns and eggs, all of which was free... sort of free, considering it was sponsored by the frat association and SGA, the latter of which, at least, gets its funding from our student activity fees, so I'm getting some of my money back.
The geese on campus are something else. They weren't here much during the fall semester, but they are here now, and in great force. From time to time, they set up a racket that is quite something to hear. However, they do complete the sylvan lake image, which is nice to look upon.
I'm hoping that the homework will not be too much for me to handle, and I'm hoping I do well in my classes. My ASL 2 class is supposed to have an interpreter for only one more class, which is scary, but we have to grow out of our pride and raise our hands when we don't understand the things our professor is signing. This is harder than I thought it would be, but I reckon I'll get used to it eventually.
I was planning to try swimming after my ASL class, because it is the only class I have near the aquatic center and the only reason I have to be anywhere near the ill-positioned building, but after my class today, I decided I was too hungry to swim, which is good, because that's when I went to the game room lobby (to see if anyone was ordering out) and heard about free food. Also, I can't put oil on my hair if I'm going swimming, so my hair doesn't behave, and with the need to rely completely on my sight to understand the professor, I can't have my hair misbehaving.
I've been doing well with that online game. I have been playing it only after completing a significant amount of homework and between my MW classes (when I eat), and I don't think I've stayed up past midnight playing it since classes started. I'm going to play a good bit this weekend, though, as there is a LAN party and a holiday.
Please keep me in your prayers, and ask that I will be able to focus on the things that are important. I have so much to do, please pray that I remember every piece of homework I have to do. Tomorrow and Saturday, I need to do a good bit of homework and getting ahead on certain things.
Oh, one more thing: Sarah, I read the first little chapterette of Anna Karenina last night. I might read the next one tomorrow night. But I've started the book! :)
Well, that's enough for now. God bless you all.

Well, it's been a long time since I updated, and I guess a lot has happened.
The end-of-semester LAN party was a lot of fun. I spent a lot of it watching movies and playing a new game I got as an early Christmas present.
I've been communicating with a number of women on eHarmony. I still don't know if any of them will turn out to be my wife.
Mom and I spent a quiet Christmas at home after church. I called a couple of friends to wish them a merry Christmas. If I didn't call you, don't feel bad. I forgot to call some very important people, and you may be one of them. At any rate, I want to say that I hope you did have a merry Christmas day, and I want you to receive all the blessings possible in the coming year. :)
I haven't read any LJs in a long time, and I know I probably should, but I haven't. Suffice it to say that I wish you the best, and I hope things are going well for you now. My friends, I love you.

This semester is winding down. It has been an interesting semester. I have a different view of college from that of most of my classmates and acquaintances, as I am a good bit older than most of them. I don't look it, but I am. That makes being taken seriously harder, but that's neither here nor there.
I went to Tally for Thanksgiving weekend. This year was unusual in that I enjoyed the turkey. The secret, I've discovered, to eating dry bird is gravy. I'd never put gravy on my selection of meat before, since I don't much care for gravy. As usual, I gorged myself on /pur-low/ (I don't know the spelling) and enjoyed it very much.
While I was there, I got some RAM for my laptop. I also encountered something interesting. It is an urge to do something more than I have been doing in my search for the woman who will become my wife. I don't know exactly what I need to do, but the urge is there to do something extra in the near future. I don't know if this means something is going to happen soon, but the urge is there to make an extra effort.
Let me be clear on this. I am not suddenly desperate. There is no hint of desperation in this. I have recently, for example, had a desire to play a certain game so bad I could smell it. This is nothing like that. It is more a push than a yearning. I just wish I knew what it is I need to do to put myself in the right place to meet the love of my life.
I don't know whether I should be looking in Jacksonville, in Okaloosa County, or in Tallahassee, but I intend to look. I have not lost my focus. God comes first. I have not lowered my standards. I want the best God has for my unique situation.
But I will say this: All I want for Christmas, really, is to know who she is and to have the opportunity to begin building a strong friendship with her.
In other news, the selection of games at the game room leave something to be desired, so I've bought a couple of my own games. I think these will greatly enhance my college experience by giving me some reliable relaxation. I will keep the gaming within reasonable boundaries, including this one: I will not avoid going and doing things with other people in order to play a game. If I try to, correct me.
I'm almost done with my Intro2Ed field observations! Praise God! I hated that I had to do those, because I've changed my major. I must say, though, that I greatly enjoyed the six hours I spent at the middle school last Wednesday. I'm going back later this week to finish up. I also have to do a presentation for ASL. I haven't started that, but I plan to spend tomorrow doing that. I've finished my C program for this week's assignment, so that's another praise! I'll have to find time somewhere this week to study for the Intro to C final. I have to know linked lists forward and backward. I hope some of my classmates can study with me.
There has been no resolution in my SMTP server problem. If I didn't mention it, the university has shut down outgoing SMTP functionality, and this has hurt me greatly, because I am a legitimate user of an SMTP/POP3 client. I hate webmail. I hope they do something about this.
I came back with entirely too much candy. I'll probably take a while to eat it, though. I also bought some new shirts. I'll look sharp next semester. I'm glad it's finally cool enough to wear dress clothes. I wish there were a ballroom dance club on campus.
Linux Users' Group meeting tomorrow at 5PM in 14/1700! We're trying to come up with a good marketing event to get our name out there.
Does anyone decorate with cornucopia, anymore? Don't forget what Thanksgiving is about... giving thanks. If I had my act together, I'd send out thanks cards to my friends... but I've gotten too much work to do it this year. Anyway, thank you all. I'm glad to know you.

Today was a good day.
I met a girl named Lauren today, and she's pretty cool.
My Precalculus professor is driving me up the wall! He drones on and on about the things we already understand, but he only goes over the difficult things once, and he expects us to understand them. He doesn't do any sort of formative assessments while he's lecturing, he just answers his own questions. I honestly think he doesn't care whether we understand these things or not. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this course.
My other classes are going very well, though I'm not feeling challenged by the C class... This is my own fault, of course, for expecting the course to seem difficult even though I've been using a very similar programming language for... *gasp* three years, I just realized!
I have a lot of reading for the Intro to Ed class. That's been kind of difficult, but maybe I can get a jump on it this next week... probably not, since I have a PreCalc test on Monday and will be spending Saturday practicing with Fernando. I keep forgetting to ask him about something he said. He said I was one of the two or three smartest guys in the C course, and I'm wondering who the other one is.
My ASL class is also going well. It's a fun course, but I'm having trouble managing my time. *sigh* I have to figure out a better way to do this.
I need to stop hanging out in the Game Room after classes, is what I need to do... at least when I'm alone. But it's been hard. I've just felt a great need lately to unwind a bit. I don't know. I'm sure there must be more people out here like me.
Anyway, thanks to God for Fernando and Lauren. :)
Please pray for me. I can't seem to stop coughing at inopportune times, like during class. :( I may have a minor sinus infection, but I'm certainly having a lot of sinus trouble.

God bless you.