http://skreyola.livejournal.com/268380.html

I covet your responses to this entry from way back when.
Trust me, I'm not poking anyone or feeling ill toward anyone about this. I totally understand how life can grab you by the collar and whisk away a whole semester. You may have noticed I'm not around LJ much, these days. So I'm not mad at anyone, even if you gave me a time and missed it. I feel you have done me no wrong. Life is like this.
But I'm still eager to learn the answers to my questions, so if any of you reading this have time now, or in the future, please take a look at the earlier entry and leave me a comment.
In short, it basically says this:

• Right or wrong, I wonder if there is material value to some (certainly not all) of the entries I've written in my LJ over the past six years.


• Writing is work, and it's fair to be paid for work, and someone might benefit from something I've written.


• I have the means to produce writing on a fairly consistent basis, provided the motivation to do so (someone cares that I write entries rather than not write entries).


• I am considering a collection of my best writings.


• I don't know what are the best ones, so please tell me. I don't know if this idea is totally off-base, so if you think it's stupid/conceited/pointless, tell me that.

By the by, does anyone have a suggestion for the best means of publishing something like this?

I got my pictures developed yesterday.
Wow. I've done a lot of yarnwork I haven't mentioned on here.
( Cut for convenience, but of course, everyone will want to click here to see the pictures! )
Here's what I have left, if you saw something you wanted:
merlot/rose/pink pillow covered pillow
blue baby blanket
9in. Robin Hood slippers
the green shawl
a brown bracelet
a 100-stitch-long multicolor scarf I've fogotten to photograph

My next project, along with a gray beret-like hat I've started, is a green, tan, and black chevron afghan. I've gotten about 12 rows into that, and it's looking nice, so far.

I just finished a set of slippers. I got the pattern from my grandmother, who has made me several pairs of these "Robin Hood" style slippers over the years. They are very comfortable, and with the top folded down (it can be worn with the top up or down), they remind me of the shoes worn by the Merry Men of Sherwood Forest.
This pair is 10 inches along the bottom (and up the side is similar), so I think they'll fit shoe sizes from 8-10.

As usual, the image is not color correct. I looked on the Red Heart Web site hoping to show you the actual color, but the color they have for 358 Lavender does not look right on my LCD screen. The actual yarn is more of a medium to dark purple, similar to how swatch 528 looks on my screen.
Also as usual, I have taken film photographs of these, which should have the correct colors when I develop and scan them.


I'm having trouble with putting a price on my crochet work. If I charged based on materials + time, they would be too expensive for anyone to buy them. However, I would like to get a fair price from them, so I'm hesitant to set the price too low.
What do you think? What would you pay for these or any other items I've displayed on here?

[Edit: added film photo]

I recently had the unfortunate necessity of replacing the RAM in my laptop, Koko, apparently because it was overheating. To prevent a repeat of this expense, I purchased a cooling pad (basically a box with two fans that sits under the laptop), which is too small for Koko's widescreen body to rest upon but which seems adequate for cooling if I perch Koko on its top just so.
While testing the RAM with memtest, I had to use my desktop system, Skimbleshanks, for research online and talking to the PcolaLUG. This was unsatisfactory, for various reasons. Mainly, since I use Koko for nearly everything and Skimbleshanks only for archiving my unison files, I had not customized it for my preferences or installed all of my most-used programs. Also, I had somehow messed up the configuration of something, and titlebars were not displaying correctly. Finally, though I could discern no difference in the configuration compared with Koko, Skimbleshanks was not viewing the Debian mirror as a trusted package source.
I use the past tense because I have begun a change in this situation.( Read more... )
Check out these links. They're two parts of a humorous piece on different distributions, comparing them to airlines. Enjoy:
http://linux.ucla.edu/pipermail/linux/2000-May/003064.html
http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=704486

For the benefit of those who've known me a while and heard me talk about my computers, Koko is the new name of Zidgel, Skimbleshanks is the new name of Midgel.

I finished another scarf. It is about 50" long.
Here are pictures:

The colors, again, are bad. I've shot it in film, so I'll try to post those when I develop my roll. Only 10 more exposures. The colors are in real life these: bright green, light gray, white, and a blue variegated pattern in the middle stretch and the centers of the green squares.
I boxed up this, the blue phone case, and the pillow, planning to sell them on eBay, but after looking at the prices things on there got and the number of unsold items to the number that sold, I decided to save my money and try to sell them some other way.
I did put up my digital voice recorder. I hope it sells. I need some money, and so far haven't sold any of my crochet work.
If you see me mention I've finished something you want, or if you want me to crochet something specifically for you, let me know. I'm trying to earn some money to further my education by paying for my expenses.
[Edit: replaced one shot with film photo]

I polished off the last of some lavender yarn today with a mobile phone case. I had to use lime green yarn to make a belt loop and top strap for it, because I ran out of lavender. If I keep waking up early, I'll be drowning in crochet projects.
I'm still working on the chevron blanket, but it is slow going because the rows are so long. I went to Wally World this afternoon to get more of the 'color' of yarn with which I started the chevron blanket. It's Red Heart 1987 Bathtime Print. The clerk who helped me with my 6" sample said it seems to have been discontinued, but they had three skeins. I should only need one, but I bought two, since it's discontinued. Good thing I went today. I got to the end of mine this evening and had to start one of my new skeins.

I finished 'reading' A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court on cassette and started 'reading' P.G. Wodehouse's The Code of Wooster: Jeeves to the Rescue. While there is no equal to Mark Twain for humor, I have been greatly enjoying Wooster's misadventures so far. When Stiffie brought out her plan, I was in guffaws. I anxiously await the continuation of this comedy of errors on my commute tomorrow. :)

I think I will be a great deal warmer on my commute in coming days, as I noted white smoke-like mist coming from my A/C vents this evening. I have seen this before in other cars, and I believe it to mean that my A/C needs to be charged. I sincerely hope I can get it done with freon, because whatever people say, the synthetic stuff isn't as effective. Also, whatever they say, freon refrigerant can't possibly be important in the alleged decay of the ozone layer, as it is heavier than air and thus sinks, not rises, and it hasn't been in use the 300 or so years it would take for air currents to theoretically carry it up to where it might destroy any ozone, which, by the way, is created by sunlight. There. Right, so, I hope charging an A/C with freon is not too expensive.

It's been over 90 the past few days. Not ideal for walking around on campus.

Well, it is getting quite late. I must to bed. Please pray for me; I need a big cold front. Then I wouldn't have to worry about my A/C for a while.

I've been struggling lately with what to do with my life.
I've been adrift on this question, more or less, since I left high school. Except for mission trips and my first two years of college, I guess I've been wondering what I should be doing the rest of that time.
See, my family has no family business. My mother taught elementary school, and my father was a sheriff's deputy. There was no family business for me to follow in. I want to live and work for Jesus in whatever I do, but that does little to make the decision clear, because Christians can serve God in their work in almost any field. I asked God what He wants me to do for a career. I asked my friends to pray for me and tell me what God told them about me. The response I got back more than any other response was that God wants me to pick a path; that He will help me with it.
I have multiple talents. It's sort of nice that I can help people in a variety of ways, but having multiple options for a career is not pleasant. I know that may seem crazy to some people, but it stinks to have so many options you don't know where to start. I'm sort of a jack-of-all-trades. I'm not skilled enough at enough things to be a Rennaissance man.
And I have limitations. Because of certain factors of my life, I am uncomfortable with the prospect of handling food preparation for strangers. Because of my body thermostat, I can't work outside regularly. Because of my lack of depth perception, I can't fly fighter planes and am uncomfortable with driving large vehicles. Because of my sinus problems, I will probably never become a DJ, not that DJs do what they used to.
I'm not complaining I can't do anything. Far from it, these limitations still leave an intimidating number of options on the career buffet. They just represent a few of the things I might have chosen to do.
My best skills, for what it is worth, better or worse, are in thinking about things and then talking about them. Ironically, that seems to be, from the hype in the media and in the classroom, a large part of the new economy. Unfortunately, no one has offered me a job doing it.
And I must have work. I cannot simply do this for a side ministry, because I must eat, and no one has offered to support me as a missionary to... the Internet? I don't think I could accept the offer if it came. And in addition to supporting myself, I still need a fairly stable income to be attractive to a responsible woman.
I have not met my wife yet, but I want her to be confident I can support my family, however many people end up being in it.
I have a pressing, even haunting desire to not waste this time I've been given. And in all of this, I am still, though I have been an adult for over a decade, a small and frightened child, watching and listening to hear what would please my Father.
I want my life to be wholly devoted to God.
Which is my current question. Am I going in the right direction preparing for a stable job in a career as a copy editor? Or am I wrong in that, and should I instead be focusing all my efforts on completeing more novels, on getting them published, and on getting people to buy them and read them?
Nothing is clear to me between these two. And the nagging question comes whether the choice should even be between these, or if I should be doing something else. It is a terrible burden to have an important choice under your umbrella of responsibility.
Who am I? And what should I be doing with this life I have?

  Jesus' call to serve is that we see others, that we reach out to others, and that we invite them to serve Jesus.
  Consider the call of Levi, also called Matthew. Tax collectors in Jesus' day were more hated than tax agents today generally are. In the Roman Empire, tax collectors had a set amount they had to send to their superiors, but they often overcharged those in their dominion to line their own pockets, something that is not prevalent in the U.S.A., at least. In those days, it was nearly ubiquitous. So, tax collectors were hated and considered common, so Matthew was, but Jesus wanted him. Jesus wants each of us, no matter how much our society thinks we are worthless. Jesus wants you to be in a relationship with Him.
  But understand the costs. Jesus' call cost Matthew a lot, but it changed his life. He became a giver rather than a taker. He gained a new life and a new job that involved clean hands rather than deceit. He got peace of mind. And he got something else, something unexpected: He got immortal and world-wide fame.
  But the reason we should do missions is not any of these things we might get from answering Jesus' call. We need to do missions because Jesus calls each of us to do missions. He doesn't call everyone to go to Africa. He doesn't even call everyone to go to another country. But He does call everyone to missions.
  Every member of the Body of Christ needs to be involved in missions in one or more of three ways:
  Praying. Every member of the church is able to pray for those involved in local, national, and foreign missions. If you're not doing either of the other two things, you need to be praying. If you are otherwise involved, praying is a good thing to do, as well.
  Paying. The work of the Kingdom is not profitable. The gifts of God are very costly, up to and including His only begotten Son. Mission work tends to be more expensive than monetarily rewarding. Mission teams and individual volunteers need financial support so they can do mission work. Individuals living abroad need support so they don't have to spend part of their time putting food on their own tables. What they do is important, and they should have their needs provided for by the Church, particularly by their home church. Some people are called to go into the business world and earn as much money as they can, so they can give as much away as they can. Those who write out the checks serve a vital role in missions. It shouldn't be the only role, but their wages help others who have no money to go.
  Playing. Actually going on mission teams or serving as individual volunteers. Everyone understands this, because this is where the rubber meets the road. But do we really understand this? There is something for almost everyone in missions. Even if you can't give up three years to go to Honduras or somewhere-- Even if you can't swing a hammer or saw a board-- Even if you can't teach a class--- Even if you have no money to spend on missions-- --you can do something. There are opportunities to do missions in a variety of ways, wherever your talents are. And even if you think you have no talents, there are small jobs that contribute in big ways.
  Here are some of the things you could do in missions, starting with some big ones: Swing a hammer. Measure boards. Cut boards. Paint walls. Paint pictures. Teach a class. Referee a game. Sit and talk with someone. Listen to someone. Hold someone's hand. Watch the kids while parents do work or attend a class. Count adhesive bandages into groups of six. Sort buttons. Measure and cut fabric. Write a note and mail it. Compile health/school/sewing/layette kits. Smile.
  In missions, there are players, payers, and prayers. Are you doing something for missions? What on earth are you doing for heaven's sake?

  This segment was informed by a sermon by John Wesley Spivey, and by a talk given by Nick Elliott on the 3 P's of Missions.
If you want more information about things you or your church can do in missions, leave a comment, and I'll direct you to resources about what interests you.

There are many large publishing houses that will look at your summary of the novel you've written and make a decision on whether to publish it, and the author can make no significant difference in whether that happens. The publishing company takes on all the risk and gives the author some percentage of the profits.
There are many demand presses that will take your novel and print it sight unseen, and the author pays all the costs and reaps all of the profits (calculated based on the author's point of view).
There are some publishing companies that offer some plans in between these, but the options are limited.
If I were running a publishing house, I would offer a variable plan. The author chooses what percentage of the publishing cost he or she will cover, and that percentage is the percentage the author gets back in royalties from sales profits. The author is in complete control of the royalty percentage. At the end of the author paying all the costs, the author directs what marketing efforts are undertaken to promote the book, since the author is paying the costs and the publishing house is only providing the connections and manpower (for which the author is paying). At the end of the publishing house paying all the costs, the choice of whether to publish the work is heavily with the house, like a traditional publishing model, but if the publishing house pays all the costs, the author gets 0% of the royalties, but this is beneficial for new authors, since they will get the promotion the publishing house gives, and the next time they seek to publish a book, they have a previous publication to mention. But books on this end of the spectrum are not chosen based on a 10-page summary. The books are read all the way through by someone who works for the publishing house, so that great books will not be overlooked because a complicated story couldn't be squished into 1% or less of its full length. This end of the spectrum also gets editing levels chosen by the publishing house.
In this way, the amount of risk the author takes is equal to the percentage of the royalty the author makes. The publishing house can print more high-quality books and make a healthy profit from helping new talent enter the field.
The reputation of the publishing house could be solidified with different imprints for different levels on the scale of whose risk is involved in publishing the novels.

I've just added the tag money to an entry, and I'm sure I've talked about money before. Can any of you remember entries where I did so I can tag them appropriately?

I hear from time to time that we're heading for a cashless society. I don't believe that.
There are numerous problems with the idea of a cashless society, beyond the difficulties that would have to be overcome to implement it, which are great in themselves.
( This became surprisingly long. )

I've recently finished listening to an unabridged recording of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It has kept me company on my commute to classes.
I think it was about the time Faramir let Frodo go that I realized something about the movies in comparison to the books, and that realization was confirmed in the Return of the King.
Peter Jackson's movies don't tell Tolkein's story. They tell a story based on the same framework, in a smaller world, with completely different characters. Gandalf is less patient and kind, Faramir is weaker, Aragorn is not as sure of himself and less of a leader, Frodo is weaker and more wavering, and Smeagol is more sympathetic and less scheming and less sensible.
They are both interesting and enjoyable stories, but in different ways. Perhaps that is merely a function of the nature of film, but they are certainly not the same story, in the same world, or with the same characters.
I enjoyed listening to Tolkein's version very much. I recommend the trilogy highly, whether you read it or listen to it.

I saw the Science of Sleep today. I knew beforehand that it would be either very, very good or very, very bad. There would be no middle ground. It was the latter. It was like watching a train wreck, but I kept hoping it would turn a corner and suddenly become good.
It didn't.
The idea was interesting, and it had some good moments, but the scenes from the preview were the best part. The sad thing about this movie is that all the raw materials of a good film were present. It just never went beyond the exuberance of an abstract artist trying to explain his work to someone who does not see any of what the artist was trying to convey.
And it's not from lack of understanding, because I kept grasping the points in the movie, but they never coalesced into anything meaningful.
It reminds me of a Family Guy episode wherein Lois and Peter enter a talent show, and they get high for inspiration, and they think they sang beautifully. But what really happened was that their experience of reality was not accurate, and no one could understand their incoherent gibberish.

I've begun a fund to pay for publishing my first novel. I decided it was time to start socking away a little bit when I have it instead of waiting until I have $4000 to make a print run. I might change direction and just buy a business license and start selling the books on CD to raise the print run costs, but I don't know what I will end up doing, except that I want to get a book published before I graduate.

Over the last couple of days, I pulled out my desktop machine again and tried to reinstall Linux on it. I don't know what the problem is with that machine, because I've had intermittent trouble with it ever since I bought it. Mostly, I've had installation troubles where the CD-ROM drive will not always detect or stay connected. I'm inclined to think it's a hardware issue, because I've tried a few distros without firm success.
I once had Debian stable running fine on it. Before that, I installed Ubuntu without a hitch. But aside of those two, I've had trouble with every installation I've tried, including one for Windows ME. This frustrates me, because I don't have a lot of money, and I talked to Linux people before I bought the pieces for this machine.
I'm going to have to leave it unfixed until I get home, where I'll be able to install repeatedly and systematically to find the combination of which CD drive to use (IDE or SATA), which BIOS mode to use (Enhanced or Compatibility, with some suboptions), and which distribution and CD (which will almost have to be Debian testing, but I might need to make a new install disk). I can do that here, except that at home I can do it without rushing.
The other thing would be to check each of the parts... or to start fresh with a new machine, but that would mean either preparing the machine for sale or just taking a loss on some or all of the parts.

I need to find someone to pay me for essays. If anyone has some ideas for places I should submit things, If you think a magazine, newspaper, or website would benefit from my writings, you should let them know about them. Actually, you should let people know about things whenever you see they could benefit from being connected to them.

I took a very long nap yesterday and slept way in today. The dark circles under my eyes are almost all gone. So, I guess I'm somehow managing to catch up on sleep even with going to bed late. But I still want to get to bed earlier.
It's just so hard.

I got a haircut at Supercuts a few days ago. People ask me if i cut it myself, and I tell them where I had it done, and they say I've said enough. so, I probably should have asked around before going to get it done. If I comb my hair forward, I have a little crown in the back where I have scars. If I comb it back, I noticed this morning because of bed head, I look like Mr. T. "Whut chew lookin' at, foo?"

Here is my answer to one of your questions.
13: Is it better to laugh or cry?
It is better to cry than to laugh.
Hear the words of the preacher: "2 It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. 3 Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. 4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth."
These words from the book of Ecclesiastes are attributed to Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. Pain makes us thoughtful, and thoughtfulness makes us more aware of things, incresing the occurance of wisdom. Also, a man who is always gleeful will often cause harm to those with legitimate griefs, but a man whose countenance is characterized by sobriety will not easily offend those already in pain.
I believe, however, that it is possible to hold joy and good cheer even in times of mourning and pain. A joyful sobriety outmatches both glee and sorrow. To hold both pain and blessing before one's eyes and have the Joy of the Lord in one's heart is to be aware of things as they are. The world gives both pain and glee, but the Joy of the Lord can be a constant in this world of constant change.

I want to find someone who will pay to publish my essays and insights. I think I could be an essayist, producing one or more essays each week. I also need to find someone who will have enough faith in me to read my novels before making a decision about them, because I believe that when that person does, he or she will want to publish them. That would make a nice supplement to my income as an essayist. :) And maybe I could also write a weekly religious column. That would be a great career, writing essays, columns, and novels. :) Any takers?

Supposedly if I have over 40 I'm spoiled.

( ) a television in your bedroom
( ) an iPod
( ) a photo printer
(1) your own phone line (used to)
( ) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
(2) high-speed internet access (i.e., not dialup)
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
( ) DVD player in bedroom
( ) at least a hundred DVDs
(3) a childfree bathroom
(4) your own in-house office
( ) a pool
( ) a guest house
( ) a game room
( ) a queen-size bed or larger
( ) a stocked bar
(5) a working dishwasher
(6) an icemaker


(7) a working washer and dryer
( ) more than 20 pairs of shoes
( ) at least ten things from a designer store
( ) expensive sunglasses
( ) framed original art (not lithographs or prints)
( ) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
( ) a multi-speed bike (aren't most bikes multi-speed?)
( ) a gym membership
( ) large exercise equipment at home
( ) your own set of golf clubs
( ) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
(8) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
( ) your own pair of skis
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
( ) a neighborhood committee membership
(9) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
( ) wealthy family members
(10) two or more family cars
( ) a walk-in closet or pantry
(11) a yard
(12) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
(13) good credit
( ) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get (those exist? why a waiting list?)
( ) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
( ) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards) (How does this make a person spoiled? It's not a good thing!)
(14) a stock portfolio
(15) a passport (Shouldn't everyone have one?)
( ) a horse
( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
(16) private medical insurance
( ) a college degree, and no outstanding student loans

Do you:
( ) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
( ) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
( ) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning)
( ) go on weekend mini-vacations
( ) send dinners back with every flaw
( ) wear perfume or cologne (not body spray) (Oh..how luxurious!)
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
( ) have a job but don't need the money OR
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner

Are you:
( ) an only child
( ) married/partnered to a wealthy person
( ) baffled/surprised when you don't get your way

Have you:
(17) been on a cruise
(18) traveled out of the country
( ) met a celebrity
( ) been to the Caribbean
(19) been to Europe
( ) been to Hawaii
(20) been to New York
( ) eaten at the space needle in Seattle
( ) been to the Mall of America
( ) been on the Eiffel tower in Paris
( ) been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
( ) moved more than three times because you wanted to
(21) dined with local political figures
( ) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
(22) take riding or swimming lessons as a child (diving lessons once..)
( ) attend private school
( ) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you

So, I'm 22/40 spoiled, eh?

It's that time of year again... "Sorry, you're not an Oregon resident." "Sorry, you're not a minority." "Sorry, you're not a woman." "Sorry, you're not a senior in high school." "Sorry, you're not attending a college in Maine." "Sorry, your degree isn't in a REAL major, like science, mathematics, or engineering." And then there are the myriad scholarships with requirements like these: Easy-Qualify Scholarships.
If you try to do a search for scholarships in a search engine, you will probably find many pages telling you that the scholarships are out there. But these pages make that claim in much the same way supermarket tabloids claim Bigfoot is out there. "Trust us, it's out there. See, here's a picture." Okay, but you haven't told me where to find it.
Being somewhat advanced in years, as college students go, and being somewhat on the low end of the spectrum as far as asset holders go, I have spent more time than I'm comfortable imagining in the pursuit of these elusive scholarships. To make matters worse, many forms of financial aid will evaporate like the morning dew if, by some means, you should find any money somewhere else.
In the united States of America, we have a troubling situation. Quite frankly, we don't care about education. Oh, we say we do, and we vote for people who say they do, but we really don't. We don't want to put money into education. We don't want our taxes to go toward education (though, in truth, our local and State taxes should fund schools, teachers, and students). And we don't want our corporate dollars to go toward education. Starting salaries for teachers are on par with many other fields, but after twenty years or so, teachers make some of the lowest wages of any occupation compared to people with comparable experience. Money for college students is made available on very limited terms. And companies don't want to invest in future employees; if you want a job, come to work with all your own equipment and degrees.
We're choking ourselves in our reluctance to help others. We limit our labor pool, we lower the standards for rational thought in all areas of society, and we make our children go to college under circumstances that force them into foolish spending practices. Karen Kelly of http://www.starvingstudentscholarships.org/ points out the likelihood that most students who rack up massive credit card debt in college do so to pay for tuition, books, and frivilous things like, say, housing and laundry soap.
It's time for us to put feet to our convictions. Businesses need to make investments in their future employees by helping them get degrees. More money needs to be made available to people who don't qualify for other scholarships.
In fact, I want to start a program that will do just that. I'll call it "the I Don't Qualify for Anything Scholarship". It will be awarded to people who don't qualify for minority scholarships, are too old to receive high-school targetted scholarships, and other popular but restrictive scholarships. I think it will be specified that if you graduate within four years of receiving the award, you don't have to pay it back.
I know I'm not the only one who doesn't qualify. I know I'm not the only one who doesn't have enough need to get a need-based scholarship. I know I'm not the only one wondering how I'm going to pay for my next semester, never mind the one after that. If we really cared about education in this great nation, wouldn't we do something to make sure that people can go to college? It's not something the government needs to do, folks. Governments exist to uphold the God-given rights of the populace, not to hand out money for every need, want, and whim of the citizens. This is something individuals, companies, and churches need to do: to invest in the future, to put money toward the furthering of reason, intellect, and thought. To make opportunities for those who've been told they're the wrong gender, color, or age.
It is the job of individuals, not governments, to reach out and give those around a hand up so that we can all achieve more together. That's part of why God gives us the excesses we have. He wants us to use our resources to build relationships by sharing what we have and accepting what others have that we can use.

When someone asks me what my major is, I have to think hard about the answer. Sometimes I say I don't know. Other times, I go ahead and tell the long story about how I had been planning to become a math teacher, that I'd been fooling myself in thinking I could stand the long hours, the time away from my family, and all the other trials that come with being a public school teacher.
Teaching is for wonderful, strong people. Other careers are for people who can't handle pastoral ministry or teaching. I don't know if I fall into that group, but I'm sure my goals in life are contrary to the requirements of teaching. I'm pretty good at mathematics, but I have no passion for math. I love teaching, but I won't teach in any subject that is watered down and politically corrected, which is almost everything except mathematics. And I want time to have a family, which means my work has to stop when I leave at the end of the day, except for the occasional business function in the evening. Teachers have so much work (and don't kid yourself that they get a planning period; that's often spent covering someone else's class or doing lunch monitor duty) that they must take it home. When I go home after work each day, I want to be able to spend the evening with my family.
So, if not teaching, what?

Well, let's be clear on something. I love teaching, and I can work that into a lot of jobs. Even if it doesn't appear in my job, I can do tutoring on the side. But I could work it into my job. If part of my job involves training others, that would be teaching.
Many people say the way to choose a path is to decide what you'd do if money were no object. If I were independently wealthy, I'd spend my time writing novels, essays, and comics; I'd spend my time helping others; I'd spend my time flying airplanes; I'd spend my time teaching the way I want to teach real subjects with real information. I could also start many businesses to do many needed things.
There are so many possibilities. If you recall my last post on this subject (2004-04-08), you know that my skills aptitude testing suggests I can do almost any career I want.
This being the case, I felt it was time to do some real career counselling.( Snip Snip )

Now, I consider myself more of an iNtuitive person than a Sensing one, and my tested tendency was only slight, so I got some information on INTJ, as well. Here are some of the top career choices among INTJs:
( Paper, Rock, Snip Snip )
I also took a Career Aptitude Placement Survey. My results are disgusting. Not one elimination of areas. My four highest percentiles were in these areas: Technology: Professional, Arts: Professional, Outdoor, and Science: Professional. Some occupations in these areas are:
Applications Programmer, Computer Systems Engineer, Actor, Disc Jockey, Instructor: Dancing, Curator, Computer Programmer, Database Design Analyst.

Looking at these results, a few occupational areas keep popping up: Office Management (management or administrative assistant), Computers (hardware or software), and Writing & Mass Communication

Comparing these results with my earlier results, these occupations are consistent:
Computer Programmer, Office management, Communications, Writer (lyrics, continuity, etc.), Disc Jockey, Deaf Interpreter.

So, I'm going to research these (when I find time) and pray about them. I welcome your comments, your counsel, and your questions.

    I keep running into Christians here. However, the concentration of people who use foul language in over half of their sentences and use the name of God in vain is about the highest I've encountered outside of Hollywood productions.
    The simple courtesy of using polite speech seems totally abandoned by a large percentage of the students here. They even curse when working in the on-campus facilities.
    Is courtesy dead? Does no one care anything about how rude they are?
   
    In the course of my entrance into the dorms, I had the opportunity to look at a few different rooms, and I noticed something about people. People are like water. They'll expand to fill all the available space. I was blessed that my roommate only took his half of the room. In the other rooms I visited, two of the roommates had taken up 75-90% of the space allotted to three people, leaving little space for a third roommate.
    The same is true of our houses. This is why people keep wanting larger and larger houses. They fill their available space. Only a conscious effort to keep certain areas clear will tame the clutter.     The way to solve this, then, is to keep to the smallest house possible and to avoid gathering things for which we have no viable space. We'd lead happier lives, take up less space, and have more money do devote to more important things than another mortgage, like helping someone less fortunate get into a house.
   
    Please pray for me. I'm not sure I'm ready to handle the things I'm facing, and I'm saddened by the lack of respect people have for each other.
   
    By the way, I've added some more tags to some of the older entries. Feel free to tag an entry if you want, and you can make up new tags if you're on my friend list.
    God bless you all.

Well, I guess I ought to update this.
I got in touch with the university. Apparently, there was a computer error, and they don't really think I'm a non-resident of the State. So, I shouldn't have to pay the out-of-state tuition. Unfortunately, the dorm has not assigned me a room yet. Please pray a room opens for me in the quiet building, as that is where I most want to be placed.
I had a great time at this year's UMVIM rally. I worked my butt off, but it was a great time! I felt so much at peace up there. I also saw a lot of things that tugged at my heartstrings. Truly, we have not heard the cry of the needy.
One of the songs we sang at the rally was sort of its theme, this year. It is "If We Are the Body". Halfway through the rally, someone discovered that the Casting Crowns CD that contains this song was available at the bookstore on the grounds, so I picked up a copy. And I found, to my great delight, that it also has on it a song I heard while visiting Jacksonville (and had fallen in love with): "The Voice of Truth"! I'm glad I picked up the CD.
I bought a laptop. It's a Toshiba Satellite A85. I'm fairly happy with it. It doesn't have all the features I wanted, but with laptops, as with many things in life, you're not going to find everything exactly as you want it. I'm disgusted by the amount of garbage that came preloaded on it. But I've gotten almost everything as I want it. I replaced MSIE with Firefox, loaded my own firewall, removed the 60 day trial MS Office and installed OpenOffice.org, added a few extras (FTP, Palm software, etc.), and removed extraneous software (JRE, .NET Framework, AOL, etc.).
I've decided to declare a last day at work. I've earned enough to buy the laptop, extra battery, and some other things. I'm starting to feel some pain from all the lifting I do. And I have started more projects than I have time to do. So, I'm ready to have a clear schedule again.
Speaking of buying things, I picked up a new clip for my mobile phone. I had gotten tired of the little pouch I had been using. It was a pretty kludgey solution, and the new clip is made for my phone.
I am still hoping to find scholarship money. Please pray I find it.
God bless you all!

Explanations: Well, here goes. As I mentioned, I applied for a job at a nearby store. Today, when I called, they had received my drug test results, and it turns out that I'm really not an illegal drug user, which is a big load off my mind, because I was terribly worried before that I might be one and not know it. {/sarcasm} :( Anyway, with that insulting nonsense behind us, for now, I'm off to begin my orientatiion and training.
    I'm a bit nervous about starting a job. It's been a long time since I went to work on a schedule. On the other hand, it's been far too long since I had any spending money of my own. I need several things for college, and they're not likely to drop into my lap. Still, the devil whispers in my ear to make me doubt and fear that maybe I'm not ready, that I can't do the job, that I'll do something horribly wrong. But I don't intend to listen to that liar. I'm going to listen to the truth: I am capable of doing this job, both by virtue of Phil 4:13 and by virtue of the talents and abilities God has given me.
    I'm going to grow, this year. Even though my growth over the past three years frightens me, I'm going to continue growing. The man I used to be seems so far removed from the man I am today. Sometimes, however, I forget that I have made progress, and I wonder how I can do anything. God help me to remember where I've been and where I'm going. I'd also be happy to see a little more of the path in between.
    I've been watching a fair number of movies, but I've abandoned the task of recording them all. I know I didn't mean to, but I do feel that I need to spend less time on LJ than I used to. I have so many ideas for activities to pursue that I couldn't possibly do them all. I wish I could. Well, anyway..
    I have reached a milestone. I've completed the Brothers Karamazov. Sarah, I'm looking around for a copy of Anna K. I'll let you know when I've found it. ( Shakespearean Soliloquy )
    Enough of this. God bless you all.