*blows the dust off this journal*
*waves away the airborne particles*
*coughs*
Excuse me.

Well, what has happened since my last update? How long ago was that? It seems like ages. LJ has been one of the things I've neglected lately.
June 11... Hmm...
I went to North Carolina for the UMVIM Connect rally, where I ran the slide decks for the plenary sessions and presented a workshop during one of the breakout times (the topic was: proper slide deck design). That went well, and it was very nice weather up there.
The next week, I went to Destin for a couple of days with my mom.
Since then, I guess I've been working mostly on driving around to visit the more than 50 churches in my town. So far, I think I've made contact at about 15 of them. But I've made a call list and prepared a call log so that I can call the rest.
Oh, and I've been working on that couch I've mentioned to some of you. Here's a picture:
( Cut because it moves )
So, I've been doing some software development lately. I had two programs that I needed that I couldn't find anywhere, so I ended up having to write my own applications. I don't want to get into Web development, but I wrote them both as CGI programs. I like CGI. I can write the programs like console programs, yet have a GUI interface through the HTML. I have a hard time wrapping my head around GUI programming, because it's all based on events, and I like to set things up in hierarchical menu structures, like the programs we used to use before we knew of such things as windows, icons, menus, and pointers. One of my favorite games in the BBS era was TradeWars2002. It had that kind of text-menu interface: Sector #486 (#) warp to sector, (p)ort (?) Help [20 turns remaining]: or something like that.
Life was simpler in computer programs back then. :)
Anyway, the status of my goals:
WIFE: I haven't found any likely prospects. I'm trying to get out more among people and make some new friends, to expand the number of people who know me and might possibly know someone who could be her.
CAREER: No bites yet. Just nibbles. I've posted a total of two church Web sites, along with my own business page, and one of those two wants to hire me to update the page. The information won't likely change often, so that won't bring a lot of money in, but it'd be something. I'm going to talk to the pastor this week about the page and see whether she hires me or not. I figure most churches I've given my card to will have to have a board/council meeting before they invite me to talk to them about possibly doing their sites, if they want Web work done, so I'm trying to be patient. I need to find more ways to get my name out there.
NOVEL: Still waiting for someone to return a proofread copy so I can post it on LuLu or Wowio.
DEGREE: Completed. Expensive piece of paper.

I'm feeling pretty good. I need to sleep more than I am.
My lips are clear.

Here's a secret: FVYLGFHDSNDROABEVDHEFGRDQPMH.
(Not really a secret)

I haven't written in a while. I've been keeping busy with various things, like getting stared in business, building a piece of furniture, researching fibercrete, and dreaming about a nautilus-shaped house.
The process of getting started in business is an intense one, involving many time-consuming steps before one can safely begin working. I had to draw up a contract, start a bank account, order many little things, and start keeping track of all sorts of things.
But I think I'm just about to the point where I can really start working.
Incidentally, and just in time, I've gotten my new (to me) laptop working.
I want to keep as many things as possible separated as far as business or personal is concerned. So it's important that I do nearly all of my work-related tasks on a work machine.
I was given this machine by one of the members of the Pensacola LUG, and I'm very grateful for it. The man who gave it to me told me that it worked but needed a new power cord/brick. I ordered one, and it recently arrived. I booted up, and everything worked well. So I shut it down and started installing Debian. It had had Mandrake on it, but I don't know much about Mandrake, and I don't have an install disc for it, so I wouldn't really be able to administrate the system as it was.
The PCMCIA network interface cards (NICs) I have are a bit on the funky side, and Debian wasn't able to use them, so I pulled down an Ubuntu ISO and burned a new install disc for it. Debian is well-known for its handling of unusual hardware, and it read my NIC right away. It's based on Debian, so the system adminstration is familiar to me.
So, now I'm just setting up everything the way I want it and waiting for the other parts I ordered for it (a new battery and CMOS battery), and I'll be good to go. I'm calling the new machine Yum-Yum to match my personal laptop, Koko. Anyone who gets the reference (without the aid of Wikipedia) gets a cookie.
It seems to run a little hot, but I'm not sure. Does anyone have any hints on how to get a temperature reading from this? Is it too old to have onboard sensors?
I've been working on setting up various things on it so it'll be just the way I like it (installing software, putting items on the ring menu, making sudo behave nicely (i.e., not ask for my password for things I want to put under menu items), adding a line to the fstab for my new thumb drive, etc.), and I'm pleased with it. It even recognizes when a VGA cable is attached and switches automatically, which will be very nice when I make presentations.
I still need to copy over a lot of files and play with things to get all my settings the way I want them. After all, I recently answered someone's question about what software I use regularly, and it was a long list, so I have quite a few programs to tweak. I'm bad about tweaking things, so I have a lot of tweaking to do yet.
I'm already pretty comfortable with the trackpoint. Don't know yet if I will put a trackball on it. As I was editing this, I reached on my keyboard for where the trackpoint is on my business machine, hehe... I'd say I'm hip with the point. It's better than a touchpad. A lot better.
Well, I guess I'll post this and try to make an update later.
Sorry this has all been geekery, but this is my life right now... getting ready for doing business.
And I keep thinking of more things I need to have on the business machine. Off I go again... And I haven't even gotten to the important bits, like firewall and such.

Here is the status of my major goals:

WIFE - I'm not sure how things are going here. My friend Ruth introduced me to a young lady with whom I've been messaging back and forth. I'm thinking about going to a singles event tomorrow night. I know a fair number of people, but I don't know anyone who really stands out as definite potential rather than unknown possibility.

DEGREE - I'm done with all my assignments. I walk the stage on Saturday. Assuming all is well, I am done with my degree.

CAREER - I launched my church's Web site this morning. Yesterday, I got my occupational license for this year, and tonight, I'm going to try to get the LLC paperwork squared away. I've made a list of people I need to contact to propose doing their Web sites. I have put together a tentative business plan. I need to put together some more samples and presentations so that I will be prepared to discuss the possibilities with pastors and other church contacts. I need to get contracts put together and find out about sales tax and the like. There are many, many hoops to jump through. I went to the bank today and got information about a business checking account I think I'll use. So, there is much to do. I'm going to spend a few weeks trying to drum up business, and then I'll decide whether I need to take a part-time job to pay the student loan payments until the business takes off. But this is what I've decided to do, and God told me I should decide what to do and He'd help me. If this is His will, He'll open the doors for me. If not, He'll shut the doors and open others. I plan to do Web design for a while and then start branching out into other areas of stewardship consulting. God will take care of all my needs.

NOVEL - I have made no progress on this. I am still waiting for my proofers to finish reading through the PDF versions I sent them. If you are one of the recipients of this file, please get done with it as soon as possible. I am counting on you! :)

I covet your prayers. Thank you. God bless you all.

I've been thinking about Web design a lot, lately. This is probably because I'm going into the field as a career. Anyway, I've run across some pages on the Web discussing the relative value of liquid and fixed-width layouts.
Most of them point out that a liquid layout will become unwieldy on a very wide screen, and that for this reason, designers should put limits on the width of the content.
While the logic that it is the Web designer's job to make sure the layout can't be so wide it is unwieldy or difficult to read the long lines thereof makes sense on the surface, it ignores some important things.
First, not everyone likes the centered-50% content column layout. Personally, I find it annoying, just as I find huge buttons on a browser's toolbar or many banners on a Web site I'm visiting annoying. And the reason is the same: They waste valuable screen real estate.
Second, users can resize their browser windows to have a comfortable column-width. While a kiosk browser may be limited to full-screen, a desktop browser doesn't have to be. I can set my browser window to 640px in width and browse sites that way all day long.
Third, users can also adjust their base text size or zoom factor to make a relative-width layout easy to read. But if the column is fixed-width, zooming or changing the text size may break the layout or the text wrap (i.e., make that fixed-width column stretch outside the viewing window).
Fourth, it is insulting to users to dictate what fluid content, like text, should look like. If your layout depends heavily on images, positioning them rigidly makes sense, but there's no reason in the world for a Web designer to dictate to a user how wide a column of text should be. Yes, I know thin columns are easier to read, but if I'm reading something lengthy, it is more important to me that I get as much text on the screen as possible to limit the number of times I'm required to move the page to access further content.
It is insulting in another way: It implies that the Web designer thinks the user is not smart enough to adjust the window to a comfortable view.

So, Web designers, if your aim is accessibility and readability, don't use fixed-width layouts. Liquid layouts are more accessible and more friendly to users. Don't put your users in an unnecessary box.

As I have these goals, I thought it prudent to look at what has happened in each of these areas.

WIFE - I have been too busy to do much on this front. My Sunday School teacher suggests that I get involved in activities at Blue Lake. I think this is a good idea. It will take some time before I can do anything in practice on this suggestion, but I will keep it filed as something to do. One of my classmates said she would talk to a girl friend of hers to see if she might be interested in meeting me. My mom said a friend of hers has moved into the area and said she will be keeping an eye out for a potential wife for me. It's nice to hear that people will be looking to help me out on this, particularly since I believe I have time to have a girlfriend exploring the potential for marriage, but I don't really have time to be looking myself.
DEGREE - I try not to think too much about this. It's all I can do to keep up with the things I have to do in each next-few-days, but so far, so good.
CAREER - I've secured permission to work on my church's Web site. In fact, I'm going later today to a meeting on that topic. I've made some efforts to talk to other area churches, but I haven't gotten much done on that score because of my tight schedule at school.
NOVEL - No progress. I sent my novel in PDF to some of my friends a little while back. If you are one of them, you can help me immensely by proofing/reading it as quickly as possible. I'm not being impatient, so don't feel I'm trying to hurry you. Just get it done as you are able. Accuracy is more important than speed; just don't dilly-dally. ;)

So, that's the status report.

Worrying is worthless.
I spent the whole year worrying, and nothing I worried about happened. It's not even as though there were things I worried about and because of the forethought was able to prevent. The things I worried about didn't happen. And God took care of me. I'm sure there are many things I'm not even aware of that could have happened that God prevented.
But going back to the things I worried about that didn't happen, I can say this. All the worrying has done in this year is rob me of joy and sleep and make me feel older.
I should not worry. Jesus said, "Take therefore no thought for tomorrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Therefore, that is, since God watches over the grass of the field and the birds of the air, and since we are worth much more than these things, Jesus is saying, don't borrow troubles from tomorrow. You'll have to cross the bridge when you come to it, and there's enough bad stuff in today for today. The bad thing about borrowing trouble from tomorrow is that tomorrow will forget you borrowed from it and pay you what the day demands even though you got an advance, so by worrying ahead of time, we must face our worries again if they do come to pass. And if they don't come to pass, we've worked ourselves into a tizzie for nothing at all.
Don't worry. God loves you, and God takes care of his children.

I was extra tired last night, so I did what I sometimes do when extra tired. I didn't read on where I was but flipped over to the psalms or the proverbs. Last night, it was proverbs. In Chapter 13, I ran into a very familiar verse: "Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." (v12)
Now, I'd always thought of this verse, when I tried to apply it to my life, in relation to my future wife. But I was thinking last night that it could relate to my writing.
Certainly, my heart has been sick, for fear looms up on me, especially death without having done much for the Kingdom. I had been thinking of hope deferred in the search for my wife, but what of my writing? Has not that been deferred? Have I not delayed in bringing its publication to pass? And is not that a means of furthering the Kingdom? Is this delayed hope the cause of my heart-sickness?
I do not know, but I think it right I should focus my energies on these four goals now and forward; 1, to publish my first novel, 2, to help churches put forward a sincere, professional, and elegant face, 3, to get out among people to increase my exposure to potential mates, and 4, to finish my degree. But above all, to follow God's will. For I am chasing a tree of life.
Verse 19 says desire accomplished is sweet to the soul. I would taste that sweetness continually in seeking God's will and blessing others. Let it be so, O Lord. Let it be so.

I suppose I ought to update this with what's been happening to me, for the benefit of my friends and my poor memory.
The semester is all but over. I have to turn in one packet of assignments tomorrow, and I'm free. I'll need to go back on Friday to get my packet back from Thursday night's class.
I'm still way behind on sleep. I'm hoping I will grow a brain in the next week and start going to bed at decent hours.
We got new fire alarms put up in our house. We went to a free dinner and saw a presentation on fire safety, and really, everyone should look into what protection their homes have, because the standard smoke detector is not enough.
I've been thinking a lot about what I'm going to do when the spring semester is over. In the spring, I'm trying to get an internship lined up, but that may not work out. If it doesn't, I'll do another semester of practicum as a copy editor on the student paper.
Anyway, after spring, I've decided that what I'll do is try to get jobs working for churches or Christian organizations, possibly through my church conference, so I could get paid by them and work for the small churches without charging them... editing copy, building Web sites, teaching churches how to write press releases in a form papers are likely to print, etc.
I found a LUG in the area, and they have an IRC channel, so I've been getting on IRC some (freenode.net). This keeps me up a little later at night, but since most of the people are in the same time zone, not nearly as much as Undernet used to. And I'll be meeting many of them in person at the next LUG meeting. I'm looking forward to that. It'll be nice to sit down with some people who don't get glazed eyes when I start talking about Linux. Sure, the art director at the paper understood it, but it'll be nice to meet multiple people who not only understand Linux but advocate it.
I've been annoyed by things I've heard in the news lately. A lot of people are bashing President Bush about this NIE report and ignoring both the biases of the authors and the intelligence we're now hearing about that refutes its findings. I'm annoyed that I see so much action that is based not on the welfare of our nation but on how people can smear their political opponents, regardless of how much it hurts morale and mission effectiveness, even though the people in question were singing a different tune in the past. It makes me sick, and I'm not going to mention any party names.
On the crochet front, I've finished a major project. Yay! I'll post pictures eventually. I still have 25 exposures left on the roll.
I'm working on a few other things, still. I have a baby blanket I need to finish, a hat I'm working on that I should probably wait until I finish the blanket before I work much more.
I posted some ads for artists, but I haven't gotten any nibbles even. I need to sit down with the pad of paper and just practice drawing until I can do my own artwork, since it looks like I'm not going to have an artist any time soon.
I wish I could think of something else to write. I wish I knew what my friends want to hear more about. I wish I were caught up on sleep. I have a lot of topics I could write about, if I were better rested and more confident.

I've been struggling lately with what to do with my life.
I've been adrift on this question, more or less, since I left high school. Except for mission trips and my first two years of college, I guess I've been wondering what I should be doing the rest of that time.
See, my family has no family business. My mother taught elementary school, and my father was a sheriff's deputy. There was no family business for me to follow in. I want to live and work for Jesus in whatever I do, but that does little to make the decision clear, because Christians can serve God in their work in almost any field. I asked God what He wants me to do for a career. I asked my friends to pray for me and tell me what God told them about me. The response I got back more than any other response was that God wants me to pick a path; that He will help me with it.
I have multiple talents. It's sort of nice that I can help people in a variety of ways, but having multiple options for a career is not pleasant. I know that may seem crazy to some people, but it stinks to have so many options you don't know where to start. I'm sort of a jack-of-all-trades. I'm not skilled enough at enough things to be a Rennaissance man.
And I have limitations. Because of certain factors of my life, I am uncomfortable with the prospect of handling food preparation for strangers. Because of my body thermostat, I can't work outside regularly. Because of my lack of depth perception, I can't fly fighter planes and am uncomfortable with driving large vehicles. Because of my sinus problems, I will probably never become a DJ, not that DJs do what they used to.
I'm not complaining I can't do anything. Far from it, these limitations still leave an intimidating number of options on the career buffet. They just represent a few of the things I might have chosen to do.
My best skills, for what it is worth, better or worse, are in thinking about things and then talking about them. Ironically, that seems to be, from the hype in the media and in the classroom, a large part of the new economy. Unfortunately, no one has offered me a job doing it.
And I must have work. I cannot simply do this for a side ministry, because I must eat, and no one has offered to support me as a missionary to... the Internet? I don't think I could accept the offer if it came. And in addition to supporting myself, I still need a fairly stable income to be attractive to a responsible woman.
I have not met my wife yet, but I want her to be confident I can support my family, however many people end up being in it.
I have a pressing, even haunting desire to not waste this time I've been given. And in all of this, I am still, though I have been an adult for over a decade, a small and frightened child, watching and listening to hear what would please my Father.
I want my life to be wholly devoted to God.
Which is my current question. Am I going in the right direction preparing for a stable job in a career as a copy editor? Or am I wrong in that, and should I instead be focusing all my efforts on completeing more novels, on getting them published, and on getting people to buy them and read them?
Nothing is clear to me between these two. And the nagging question comes whether the choice should even be between these, or if I should be doing something else. It is a terrible burden to have an important choice under your umbrella of responsibility.
Who am I? And what should I be doing with this life I have?

  There has been a spring in my step this past week. That isn't actually true, but there have been a lot of moments during the past week when I have caught myself walking with a light and joyful step.
  I wouldn't say this is uncharacteristic. I'm not normally a guy who is down in the dumps. I have a bouyant personality. I'm the guy who's rarely down but almost never perky. I have never been the type of guy who is so cheerful it annoys other people. I sit like a bobber on a fishing line, never pulled under the surface for long, but rarely seen in the air above the surface. I don't notice the general cycle of ups and downs in my life that are common in the lives of most people.
  I'm different.
  I'm rarely far from the baseline. But I didn't start out to write about myself and my tendency to be of flatter moods than is normal. I started out to write that I've been catching myself, and noting with pleasure, my generally upbeat mood in recent days. I lost some weight in Poland and got a good walk almost every day I was gone. But I don't think those things had as much effect on me as simply being in the mission field. I love helping others. But maybe that's not it, either. I don't really understand it, because at the same time as I was on the mission trip, I was feeling the weight of some concerns. I think Christ's churches are not doing enough in missions. I think too many people are ignoring the commission of Jesus to go into the world. I think I ought to be doing more to remind people that missions is for everyone, not just those called to live in Africa or other countries for their careers. And I think a lot of missions is poorly done.
  So, really, my joy surpasses understanding. Maybe God has simply blessed me this past week with a light heart.
  Proverbs says that hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. I had a desire fulfilled today. I know this is a silly desire, and it wasn't a profound one for me, and it is nothing compared to my heart desire to know my future wife's name, but it did make me very happy to finally see it arrive. Let me make absolutely clear that this is not something I consider important but merely long-awaited.
  You see, in the spring semester, I worked on the campus newspaper as a copy editor. Early in the semester, I also took on the position of Web editor. These positions, on top of a full load of courses, made the semester more complicated and difficult than what I should have taken on at one time. I'm at fault for overscheduling myself, but I enjoyed the experience. But at the end of the semester, I felt like death warmed over, because I really did overextend myself. Anyway, because of a paperwork mix-up, I only got paid for the Web position. At the end of the semester, I finally discovered that the paperwork mix-up had not been resolved. Eventually, I got it straightened out and left a note with the person who could do the final steps to make sure I got paid.
  On Saturday, my check arrived.
  I had decided at the end of the semester what I would do with the check. After God's part and a part for my IRA, I dfigured I would have just enough left over for a Wii game console, an extra controller set, two GameCube controllers (because I have a GameCube game), and the Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for the Wii.
  So on Saturday, I called around to the local Wal-Marts and EB Games stores. Nobody had the console. EB Games said to try back on Monday.
  On Monday, I called EB Games, but they hadn't gotten any in. So, I decided to visit Wal-Mart every day. I had some pictures that I needed to get reprinted, since I'd given the original prints to another member of the team, or to the pastor in Poland. So, this is what I did. No consoles on Monday. No consoles on Tuesday. Went in this morning, and they didn't have any. I asked one of the associates if they were being bought up by people selling them on the Web or if there were just that many people who wanted one. He said there were that many people.
  So, I ran some other errands while waiting for the developer to finish the pictures. By now, I had reached the point where I was willing to wait a little bit, but I was beginning to wonder if it would be Christmas before I got to the store while they had one in. On my return, I checked electronics first, and they had the consoles! The associate said they'd arrived about five minutes earlier. So, I bought one, along with the accessories I'd planned for. I had $2.00 left from my check. Hehe.
  So, I now own one of those awesome consoles with the really stupid name. And I'm a very happy man. I know I could have spent the money on more lofty things, but I really did want this game console. It's not like I regularly buy console games as they come out. The last console I bought new before May of this year (when I got half a PS/2 for an early birthday present (I asked for a Wii, but I also had games for the PS/2, so we got that instead)) was a Super Nintendo Entertainment System. And I only have three games for that system. I'm not what you'd call a serious console gamer. I like Nintendo's new console because it's truly different. It does things none of the others do. It promotes movement rather than couch potato sitting. It plays GameCube games, of which I have one or two. And the games for Nintendo's console are for everyone, not just the hardcore gamers, so they're game I have fun playing.
  And this next semester is going to be tough, so I'm glad to have something like this for relaxation and energy catharsis. I think I have made a good choice in this console.
  But I forgot to pick up my photos from processing. Oops.
  When I got home, I set up the console and played a game of bowling with my mother. Neither of us did a stellar job. I won the game, but she got a higher skill rating than I did. I messed around a bit with the fitness section and the training section. Then I loaded the game that was a large part of my desire to get this console. I played that for a while, and I got almost all the way through parts I had seen other people play. I'm a bit of a fan of the Zelda series, and Twilight Princess has lived up to my expectations, for the most part. I'm pleased with this game, and with the whole purchase.
  I have to admit, as low-key as I normally am, that I've been excited about this since Saturday, when my check arrived. It's not often that I get excited.
  I hope that your day has been wonderful. I hope that you have been blessed. Now I'm going to think about writing some things about missions. Catch you later. :)

It has been an interesting week.
I spoke to Matt on Sunday about the comic, and we discussed some ideas about the characters. I've printed out a copy of some scripts to give him tomorrow. I'm anxious to get the comic started, but I'm being patient. I probably will need to wait until the end of July anyway, with all that's going on, but I'm hoping we can get everything ready to launch it then.
On Monday, I decided not to post an entry. I'd posted every single day for a whole month, so I feel I have reached a point where I could write a daily column for some media outlet. But having proven that to myself, having completed the experiment, I decided to not post, just to see what happened, how I felt about it, etc. Looking back over the past month and comparing it with previous months was interesting and informative. I intend to write about that in a separate entry.
Monday evening was a meeting.
Tuesday, I think I spent most of the day working on homework.
Wednesday was a meeting of the Poland team.
Thursday, I helped with some work on someone's house and lined up a job for Friday morning.
Friday, I went out and painted trim in a house that's going on the market soon. I also did some homework and some cleaning in the garage. We got some much-needed rain.
Today, I mowed the lawn and laid about five feet of HO track on the new grid table I finally finished. I think it looks fairly good, especially considering my level of familiarity in working with cork roadbed, and the wiring works well. I did a lot of drilling, soldering, and tinkering as I built and tested this section of the layout. In spite of careful planning and execution, I somehow got off somewhere (probably laid a track straight in practice that was not straight when I measured the layout, and I started from the end opposite where I started measuring), so I had to drill new holes for most of the wiring. Oh, well. You live and learn. Maybe I'll put buildings or something where the old holes are.
I'm making some headway in my research, but mostly, this week has been for other things. Still, I'm doing well in my course. I need to put a move on, though, if I'm going to finish everything by the deadlines.
God bless you all.

I guess it's been a while since I updated. Here's what has been happening.
My lips appear to be healthy again. They've been clear for a couple of days.
I've been doing homework. Yeah. It's starting up again. I had some reading, and I've knocked that out. I had an assignment from my Magazine writing class to bring a copy of my favorite magazine, "and if you don't have one, go to Barnes and Noble and pick one," so since I don't really read magazines, and since my favorite magazine is vintage Mad, which doesn't have articles, per se (which is what we'll be discussing), I went to Books-A-Million! and spent twenty minutes scowling at their selection of magazines. I wasn't scowling at the limits or the contents... just scowling because I don't really have a magazine I read. I'm getting started in HO railroading, so I picked up a copy of Model Railroader 2007 special issue, which I will claim as my favorite magazine, for at least the next week. With that out of the way, and my chapters read for tomorrow's class, I'm ready to go.
I'll drop in to the campus paper after class and probably proof stories for a good long while. I have my copy of the Stylebook in my backpack, so I should be good to go on that front. I'm nervous about this. I'm always nervous about going to work, because even though I should have no trouble with the work, I'm afraid of messing up.
Speaking of reading, I've been doing some. I'm into the third section of the third book of Return of the Native, and the story is starting to move at a good pace. Older books tend to start more slowly, but I think they're worth it when you get into them. It's an intimidating thing, though, because some books don't really go well after the slow start, and by then it's too late. You've read half of the book and are sick of it. But getting back to the book I am reading, it's very good. The story is shaping up nicely, and the things abridgers might remove are thoughtful and well-written. I'm glad I started reading it. However, I'm anxious to get back into Anna Karenina.
And speaking of good stories, I saw a great movie tonight. It's called Akeelah and the Bee. This movie is well-done. It's cute, heart-warming, and funny, but it's also serious, gritty, and poignant. The ending is great, not what you would expect in a movie that is heading where this one heads in the middle third. I recommend it.
I've also seen:
A Prairie Home Companion - A fun movie, especially if you listen to the radio show. Many familiar characters, but I probably wouldn't recommend it to someone who's not a fan of the broadcasts.
Mozart and the Whale - A very well-crafted story. I was disappointed in the level of bad language, though. I saw a bit of myself in the characters, and you probably could, too. In truth, we face similar struggles to those faced by the characters in this movie.
Mission: Impossible III - Just what you'd expect. Worth the price of admission. Rather gut-wrenching in places. But a thrilling ride.
And speaking of stories, I have some I'd like to tell through images. If any of you would be interested in drawing for a comic strip, please let me know. I don't have any plans that would bring in any money, but I have over 80 strips worth of scripts, and it'll be good practice. Plus, if we do somehow make money, I'll be happy to split it 50-50 (or 40-60, if you prefer).
Tomorrow, I want to drop by the local paper. I've been thinking about trying to sell some of my essays for publication. Do newspapers do that anymore? Or would any of you like to publish essays I wrote?
I guess that's enough for this update. God bless you all!

I'm not who I pretend to be.
To begin with, I should admit that. I've been pretending to be someone for many years, and I'm simply not that man.
I'm not a loner. I claimed to be all through high school, but I wasn't. I was an outcast but never a loner. I wasn't alone by choice. I tolerated it easily, but I never chose it. I only claimed to be a loner because loners are more romantic than outcasts, or so I thought. I'm a social man. I love being around people who respect me. Yes, I strongly dislike large crowds, but I don't like being alone. I've simply tolerated it for so long that I only notice it half the time, but I hunger and thirst after companionship. I'm a social man, not a loner.
I'm not shy. I don't think I've really claimed being shy lately, but I'm not. I only come across as shy because I'm picky about what I spend time discussing, so I don't talk much in social settings. Small talk doesn't come easily to me, because I see little value in it, but the other side of that is that not all small talk is what we think of this weather we've been having lately, and the stuff that's not in that vein has connectional value. I'm still working on getting a handle on finding out people's interests so we can actually talk about things of substance. But when I do get that conversation that sparks something else, I can talk to someone for hours. And I am picky about who I engage in coversation. Respect is very high on my priority list, and I like talking to people who respect me and others, but I generally don't like talkign to people who are disrespectful. I need to change my behavior, because people who act disrespectfully often need good companions more than those who are polite. And that may be because I'm a bit introverted, but I'm not shy. I'm not shy. I'm just a little too picky about conversation.
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. I'm not good at debate, I get tripped up easily, and there's a lot of stuff I don't know and things I'm unable to do. But I know that sometimes I come across as though I am. I'm not. Yes, I'm an intelligent man. Yes, I look around and gather information that I later spew out to the amazement of some. But I'm not as smart or as quick-witted as some of the people who work in the financial and governmental centers of our nation. I'm not the smartest person on the face of the planet. I'm just smarter than some people, which is no great distinction.

Anyway, it doesn't sound as profound when I lay it out like that.
I took a tour of the campus yesterday. It was apparently the last day the campus was open this year. I'm very excited about the new school. I like a lot of the things I saw and heard there.

Item:	UNF	UWF
On-campus food:	6 or so options	12 or so options
Campus radio:	http://ospreyradio.com/ Good luck getting it in your car - No FM transmitter	http://wuwf.org/ 88.1 FM, which I can get in my car 50 miles away
Start a new club:	10 students	3 students
Entertainment:	Game Room with video game consoles	Rock wall with weekly change of paths
Parking pass:	$146/yr.	$30/yr.
Visitor parking:	$3/day	Free
Printing and copying:	$0.11/page, no quota	$0.00/page up to 500 pages, then $0.10/page
Vending:	Meal plan free spending does not work for vending.	Meal plan free spending works for vending.
Campus tour:	Walking tour	Tour conducted by golf cart with stops

Other benefits:
Real kitchen facilities; Since I won't be living on campus, I'll have a stove, oven, and pantry, so I'll be able to buy and eat healthy food.
Job; Since I won't be living on campus, I won't be spending as much time in on-campus parking, so even if the parking is difficult, I won't be reluctant to leave campus, which will make finding a job easier.
Church; Living at home, I'll be near my home church. No on-campus second choices next year.
Roommates; Living at home, I have my own room with no roommates. Joy unbounded!
Laundry; No charge for laundry.
Being home, I'll probably get more exercise. There's plenty to do around here, and I'm enjoying being home.

Over the last couple of days, I pulled out my desktop machine again and tried to reinstall Linux on it. I don't know what the problem is with that machine, because I've had intermittent trouble with it ever since I bought it. Mostly, I've had installation troubles where the CD-ROM drive will not always detect or stay connected. I'm inclined to think it's a hardware issue, because I've tried a few distros without firm success.
I once had Debian stable running fine on it. Before that, I installed Ubuntu without a hitch. But aside of those two, I've had trouble with every installation I've tried, including one for Windows ME. This frustrates me, because I don't have a lot of money, and I talked to Linux people before I bought the pieces for this machine.
I'm going to have to leave it unfixed until I get home, where I'll be able to install repeatedly and systematically to find the combination of which CD drive to use (IDE or SATA), which BIOS mode to use (Enhanced or Compatibility, with some suboptions), and which distribution and CD (which will almost have to be Debian testing, but I might need to make a new install disk). I can do that here, except that at home I can do it without rushing.
The other thing would be to check each of the parts... or to start fresh with a new machine, but that would mean either preparing the machine for sale or just taking a loss on some or all of the parts.

I need to find someone to pay me for essays. If anyone has some ideas for places I should submit things, If you think a magazine, newspaper, or website would benefit from my writings, you should let them know about them. Actually, you should let people know about things whenever you see they could benefit from being connected to them.

I took a very long nap yesterday and slept way in today. The dark circles under my eyes are almost all gone. So, I guess I'm somehow managing to catch up on sleep even with going to bed late. But I still want to get to bed earlier.
It's just so hard.

I got a haircut at Supercuts a few days ago. People ask me if i cut it myself, and I tell them where I had it done, and they say I've said enough. so, I probably should have asked around before going to get it done. If I comb my hair forward, I have a little crown in the back where I have scars. If I comb it back, I noticed this morning because of bed head, I look like Mr. T. "Whut chew lookin' at, foo?"

Here is my answer to one of your questions.
13: Is it better to laugh or cry?
It is better to cry than to laugh.
Hear the words of the preacher: "2 It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. 3 Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. 4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth."
These words from the book of Ecclesiastes are attributed to Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. Pain makes us thoughtful, and thoughtfulness makes us more aware of things, incresing the occurance of wisdom. Also, a man who is always gleeful will often cause harm to those with legitimate griefs, but a man whose countenance is characterized by sobriety will not easily offend those already in pain.
I believe, however, that it is possible to hold joy and good cheer even in times of mourning and pain. A joyful sobriety outmatches both glee and sorrow. To hold both pain and blessing before one's eyes and have the Joy of the Lord in one's heart is to be aware of things as they are. The world gives both pain and glee, but the Joy of the Lord can be a constant in this world of constant change.

I want to find someone who will pay to publish my essays and insights. I think I could be an essayist, producing one or more essays each week. I also need to find someone who will have enough faith in me to read my novels before making a decision about them, because I believe that when that person does, he or she will want to publish them. That would make a nice supplement to my income as an essayist. :) And maybe I could also write a weekly religious column. That would be a great career, writing essays, columns, and novels. :) Any takers?

I'm ripping up the carpet in my office.
No, I'm not on the outs with my boss. This is in my home office. I bought a plastic mat for my rolling chair a couple of years ago. Recently, it go so cracked that I pulled it up. Underneath, it was stinky. I think mildew, or at least some sort of mold, was growing in the trapped moisture underneath.
I'm not sure how much effect that had during my recent unpleasantness, but it can't be helping, so I'm ripping up the carpet. I started yesterday with the section under the mat, but I'm going to try to clear some more of it on Saturday. I bought a mask today so I won't have so much trouble from the dust.
I'm going to lay down some vinyl tiles and get another plastic mat. Since it won't be on carpet, it shouldn't cause that problem again.

Things are going well at work. I'm working more and more on the website. It's coming together nicely. I enjoy working where I am working, but I'm also ready to head back to college. Wish I could say the same for my bank account.

Speaking of college, my textbooks arrived. I had them shipped to my house so I could look them over and hopefully get a head start on all the reading for my classes. Now, we'll see how disciplined I can be and actually do that.
I seem to be registered for everything that I need to take this semester. Pray for me, that my classes line up properly and that I have discipline and focus for my classes.

I'm still looking for local friends. I'd like to make a couple of local friends who know some ASL. I need the practice. I've done hardly any signing since I left Jacksonville. I sign some to my mom, but she doesn't know very many signs.
I'm also still looking for my wife. If you see her, tell her where I am and that I'd like to meet her. And tell me where to find her. ;)

God bless you all. Have a great weekend.

I went in to the paper today and spent a couple of hours talking to the woman I'll be helping. She showed me around the office and told me about how she sorts things.

I'm feeling a bit better. I think I was suffering from nerves and lack of sleep. I need to get more sleep. Tomorrow, I'll be sleeping in, so that should help some, assuming no one bothers me. I tried to take a nap this evening, and it was one phone call after another, hehe... Oh, well. The important thing is that I think I'll be okay now. I wasn't so sure the other day. But God provides, and God answers prayers. I'm working on some new essays, but I need to give them some more thought and time. The subjects they cover are a bit touchy, so I want to be sure I'm clear enough that anyone who gets upset with me does so because of my position and not because of my wording.

I start Wednesday.
I went today and spoke to the people at the paper. They've offered me an internship sorting email and designing a system to make that process more automatic after I go back to school. I might also get to write some articles, so all around, this is a great thing for me. I am good at pattern recognition, so sorting is a job I can do well. The opportunity to get clips for my portfolio is wonderful, too.
Speaking of writing, I'm still trying to get into the habit of writing more. So far, I've mostly been reviewing what I wrote before, but I hope to write something new in my novel about Jack's days at Iunik, which I've decided to call A Taste of Champagne. I'm thinking about publishing that novel on my website when I finish it, so that I can build some recognition and hopefully sell some copies on CD-ROM. If someone were willing to read it for an audio CD, I'd like to talk about that. Hopefully, sales of CDs will let me make enough money to do a print run.
And speaking of my website, do any of you have suggestions of things you'd like to see there?
It's been hot here, but I decided today, because of the blah way I've been feeling the last 24 hours or so, to open the windows and blow some fresh air through the house. We had a little bit of rain the other day (filled a 5-gallon bucket and Grandma's metal pail), but we still need a lot more. But Thank God for the rain we've had; I filled a bunch of bottles and set the bucket out again. I hope we'll get some more rain. The leaves on the plants are looking a bit scorched.

When someone asks me what my major is, I have to think hard about the answer. Sometimes I say I don't know. Other times, I go ahead and tell the long story about how I had been planning to become a math teacher, that I'd been fooling myself in thinking I could stand the long hours, the time away from my family, and all the other trials that come with being a public school teacher.
Teaching is for wonderful, strong people. Other careers are for people who can't handle pastoral ministry or teaching. I don't know if I fall into that group, but I'm sure my goals in life are contrary to the requirements of teaching. I'm pretty good at mathematics, but I have no passion for math. I love teaching, but I won't teach in any subject that is watered down and politically corrected, which is almost everything except mathematics. And I want time to have a family, which means my work has to stop when I leave at the end of the day, except for the occasional business function in the evening. Teachers have so much work (and don't kid yourself that they get a planning period; that's often spent covering someone else's class or doing lunch monitor duty) that they must take it home. When I go home after work each day, I want to be able to spend the evening with my family.
So, if not teaching, what?

Well, let's be clear on something. I love teaching, and I can work that into a lot of jobs. Even if it doesn't appear in my job, I can do tutoring on the side. But I could work it into my job. If part of my job involves training others, that would be teaching.
Many people say the way to choose a path is to decide what you'd do if money were no object. If I were independently wealthy, I'd spend my time writing novels, essays, and comics; I'd spend my time helping others; I'd spend my time flying airplanes; I'd spend my time teaching the way I want to teach real subjects with real information. I could also start many businesses to do many needed things.
There are so many possibilities. If you recall my last post on this subject (2004-04-08), you know that my skills aptitude testing suggests I can do almost any career I want.
This being the case, I felt it was time to do some real career counselling.( Snip Snip )

Now, I consider myself more of an iNtuitive person than a Sensing one, and my tested tendency was only slight, so I got some information on INTJ, as well. Here are some of the top career choices among INTJs:
( Paper, Rock, Snip Snip )
I also took a Career Aptitude Placement Survey. My results are disgusting. Not one elimination of areas. My four highest percentiles were in these areas: Technology: Professional, Arts: Professional, Outdoor, and Science: Professional. Some occupations in these areas are:
Applications Programmer, Computer Systems Engineer, Actor, Disc Jockey, Instructor: Dancing, Curator, Computer Programmer, Database Design Analyst.

Looking at these results, a few occupational areas keep popping up: Office Management (management or administrative assistant), Computers (hardware or software), and Writing & Mass Communication

Comparing these results with my earlier results, these occupations are consistent:
Computer Programmer, Office management, Communications, Writer (lyrics, continuity, etc.), Disc Jockey, Deaf Interpreter.

So, I'm going to research these (when I find time) and pray about them. I welcome your comments, your counsel, and your questions.

    It has been an eventful period of time, since I last wrote in this journal.
    School is going well. I'm managing to keep up fairly well with most of my homework.
    I don't like my PreCalc prof, but neither do most of my classmates. It's not that his class is hard; it's that his instruction is incomprehensible. It's not that he has a thick accent that makes him difficult to understand; it's that he drones on and on about things we understand, lulling us into bored slumber, but when he is explaining something difficult and complicated, he does it once on the board and moves on. He makes no attempt at formative assessment. He shows no interest in whether we understand the concepts or not, and he answers our questions with disdain but without an attempt to make things clearer.
    I'm wasting a lot of time I could be using to do homework, but I'm still managing (barely) to keep up with the reading assignments, and I'm getting out among people (though I'll admit to having spent several hours this week on my computer). I went to the movie on Wednesday. They were showing Top Gun. It was still pretty good, but I'm noticing that a lot of the 80s movies (That's this month's theme) don't seem as good as they did when I was younger.
    There was a suicide on campus Monday. The Spinnaker didn't publish a regular issue this week.
    I've decided to change majors. I was only kidding myself when I decided to become a classroom teacher. Teaching is something that I love doing, but I have to face the fact that a career as a schoolteacher involves today a lot more frustration than I wish to endure, long hours that would keep me from spending time with my wife and children (when I find her and have them), horrific disdain in the eyes of the public (as though I need more of that than I've had in my life), and the maddening antics of unsupportive parents, unsupportive administrators, and unsupportive real estate agents pretending to be school board members. I'm just not cut out for handling that, especially since I might have to take on another job and spend more time away from my family just to earn a decent living.
    Other careers are for people who can't handle ministry or teaching.
    That's the place for me... somewhere else. So, I made an appointment on Wednesday to speak to a career counselor. I opted for all of the tests, and I just need to pay $40, take the online assessments, and make another appointment for the analysis of the results. Since other places would charge me $100 for one of the five tests I'll be getting for $40, I think I'm getting a good deal.
    In other news, Chartwells, the company that runs all the dining facilities on campus, had a promotion running the first two weeks of school: Get a little card, have it stamped at every dining place in the core, get an entry in the drawing. I don't normally enter such things, but I asked one day, and the cashier said not many people were doing it, so I picked up a card. I filled it well before the end of the promo, so I filled another card. I don't know which of the two was chosen, but I got an email telling me to come by the office today. I did, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that I had not won some dippy, "and other prizes" type thing. I am now the happy owner of a Polaroid 7" portable DVD player, the kind with a built-in screen you can take on the bus or whatever (When I saw 'DVD player' on the poster, I thought it was a regular unit you plug into your TV). Thank you, God, for this blessing. Now, I just need some DVDs, hehe.
    In other, other news, I'm trying to get a LUG started here on campus. For those of you who don't know, a LUG is a Linux Users' Group, a gathering of Linux users and persons interested in Linux. I'm hoping it will be a lot of fun. I'm sure it will look good on my resume. ;)
    I'm in the middle of two books right now. One is for class, A Loss for Words, and the other is Terry Pratchett's Soul Music, which is a quirkly little book with a quirky sense of humor.

    Well, it's very late, here, so I should get to bed. I have a lot of reading to do, as well as the sign cards for Chapter Three. I also have a few files to transfer onto my computer, so I should get moving so I can get to sleep. Good night, and God bless you!

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Hi, everyone.
I just wanted to post, but I can't recall exactly what I meant to talk about.
I've been working on a few things.
My CGI programming is going fairly well. I'll be glad when, next week, I can devote more time to it.
I updated my resume to reflect my latest job, which ends at 11:59 Friday.
I've been working a little bit on some plotting for "The Great Movers". That's going to be an interesting project.
Well, I don't know what else there is to say, so I'll post this. Talk to you all later.